Cat's Eye
by Fourangers
Summary: AU Naruto, a young man who always lived alone through his whole life, decided one day to adopt a black cat in an adopting stray pets agency. He'd never imagine that he'd adopt a manipulative, arrogant and pervert youkai. SasuNaruSasu.
1. Paw 01

Author notes: First things first. Ahem. This fic is going to be….pretty stupid. I mean, as a form of writing stupid ideas and stupid jokes. XD And there'll be Pervert!Sasuke. In other words, he'll be OOC. Meh, is just that writing IC characters sometimes is sooo tiring! I want to write stupid things! I want to receive flames from SasuSaku fans and answer them with NC-17 pictures of SasuNaru! It'll be SO cool! (readers: +facepalm+)

So yeah, the first part will be comedy. But I know myself, and that won't happen for too long. The second part will be adventure, and _then _Sasuke will return IC. Blah. But till there, let me have my fun…XD

Warning: Homosexual relationship with the naming characters Sasuke and Naruto. Okie? Now let's go.

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Paw 01 – Found you!

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Lights were bustling, illustrating the vivid night life of Tokyo, crowd running everywhere, busying their time. No one registered a small cat, brilliant black fur bathed by moonlight and a pair of grey eyes, luminescent spots in the middle of a cold and dark alley. The animal crouched on the top of a thin wall, between the broken shard of glasses made to evade burglars and old rusty fences.

If someone could pay the minimal attention aside from their narrowed lives, they would notice that the graceful cat stood in that place motionless since the rising of sun till the last shines of moon everyday. Repeating his routine throughout several months.

But why did he keep on doing this, perched daily on that place? The reason was a young man that was currently being feasted hungrily from that pair of eyes. The target was stunningly breathtaking, his energetic disposition was coupled with a taut and perfect body, glossy tanned skin, spiky golden hair and the most vibrant color of blue located on his iris. The blond's had a constant hectic schedule, always exiting early from house and arriving late. Sometimes he would even arrive at early morning, grunting exhausted and throw himself haphazardly at his bed, only to wake up on afternoon. That man…was interesting.

The slit eyes narrowed amusedly when he saw the tanned body hopping everywhere while he cooked haphazardly his ramen. He was always so goofy…since he didn't have a regular work shift, he always settled to fast-food and other unhealthy options. However, as the cat could observe that seventy percent of his meals consisted on Ramen…maybe this wouldn't be the case of careless attitude on nutrition.

He was fascinating. From the information that his servants gathered to him, the blond was an orphan and raised himself from scratch, now earning a generous salary inside the models agency. Even though that appealing body constantly radiated with sunny energy, there was a shadow of loneliness that always followed him around. The black animal licked eagerly around his mouth. He couldn't wait until he succeed to enter inside that blond's life, suck off that negative emotions and transform all the poignant sighs into pleasurable laughs. Among with other _much more _pleasurable activities, of course…

The graphite eyes suddenly flashed red, the tuffs of dark fur broadened menacingly as he arched his back hissing wary. Someone as strong as him was approaching. A dark crow flew towards his direction and landed side by side with the cat. At recognizing his ally, the cat settled down and retracted his claw, returning to observe his object of interest while he swished his tail contently.

The bird, contrary to normal aviary species, wasn't on the edge looking sideways all the time, he just observed calmly the mammal. There was a light scar on his left eye and where it was supposed to be a brownish eye, there laid a crimson color instead. The crow tilted his body to the feline's ear level and opened his beak. The cat, somehow, returned with a polite meow.

Now, if anyone at this moment would really pay attention to their hushing voices, they would temporarily stand perplexed in relation to their chat, as they could probably _swear _that they were hearing _human language_:

"Is he the one?"

And blink confused if they could see a trace of smirk at the seams of the black cat's mouth.

"Yes."

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"Alright! Now today ended well as a wrap! Good job everyone!" The boss shouted happily while many of the workers sighed in relief.

Naruto also began to shuffle all the equipment on cases. All the flashes, tripods, camera devices were practically his babies since he grown so found to use them daily on his work. They all belong to the agency he worked, though he sporadically had the liberty to use them for personal reasons, as long as he returned in the end.

Naruto always loved photography. Somehow, the idea of capturing images enthralled him. He believed that a true talented artist will be able to even succeed catching emotions and portrayed in that practically magical piece of glossy paper. Somehow, that made him more like an artisanal photographer instead of the digital ones encountered nowadays. He liked using roll of films. He liked to be inside that dark room and personally develop each photograph, seeing the images exhibit on the originally blank paper in each wave inside the chemical water. It was fun.

He yearned to be this type of artists, to travel through the world and find every kind of obscure beauty forgotten on the world. However, it was the necessity that called first before his dreams. For raising himself inside an orphanage, it was almost a miracle for him that he managed to succeed on graduating from high school and enrolled inside a prestigious college. He probably wouldn't have the opportunity to own a full scholarship if his favorite teacher from middle school, Umino Iruka, didn't help him to dig in.

Though instead of exerting his profession as a journalist, Naruto preferred to pursue his hobby, living only with photography. It'd be a hard career. Nevertheless it'd be worthwhile. But it didn't fill the food plate neither could pay the house taxes.

And that's why he worked in an agency of models. The salary was good, the boss was albeit a little pervert but reasonable to everyone and his biggest struggle would be managing the temper from some models and fuss over them from time to time. Nothing extraordinary, really. Sure, at some point of his life, he felt that there were no challenges for him to leap, but financial stability requested his full attention. He didn't complain, because if anyone could see a broader point of view, though his past had met some struggles, he achieved some of his dreams in contrast with many other dejected lives appeared everywhere. He considered himself a fortunate person.

So he had his share of friends. Umino Iruka, obviously, came first, as being his guardian, savior and hero. A kind man that looked above the mischievous little prick that always demanded attention and recognized the lone orphan that cried inside. He was the one who helped him to graduate from school and aid him every time. Simple words could not describe Naruto's immense gratitude over such gentle soul.

Next would be the adorable couple Yamanaka Ino and Akimichi Chouji. When Naruto started his career inside the agency, Ino was a newbie model, still feeling edgy towards her first shoot. Their primary equivalent anxiousness was what brought the first ties of friendship, which transformed into a cozy companionship over the months. Ino was the one who presented her boyfriend later, an aspiring sushi chef, to Naruto, and they gradually became close friends.

And at last:

"He-hello—uh, g-g-good evening, U-u-uzumaki-san." Stammered a young woman while the blond man fumbled to find his keys.

"Hi, Hyuuga-chan!" Naruto beamed back towards the cute lady.

Hyuuga Hinata is a long-haired brunette who lived next door to him. She always greeted politely to him and sometimes she would offer some of her food (I-I c-c-cooked to-too m-much, w-would you like s-s-ome of it, U-u-uzumaki-s-san?) though Naruto never succeeded to have a more than five lines type of speech with her. Either she would suddenly sputters and say that she was busy or either he would try to invite her to enter his house to talk more comfortably though she would blush so much that Naruto would get worried over her blood pressure.

She probably was raised in a respectable family and wasn't allowed to enter so freely inside a stranger's house, the blond guessed. The poor girl was an example to be admired; she was blind since birth though she achieved her independency by herself. He wondered sometimes if her relatives wouldn't come here occasionally, apprehensive, but at seeing that she never had guests, maybe not.

And this was Naruto's life. And this was Naruto's days. A regular job that filled his stomach, regular friends, regular neighborhood, regular past. His prankster side always stirred uneasily from his now steady life, though he constantly could simmer it down. Not now. Maybe later. When he succeeds to have a steady name on the market. When he wins the photograph competition. When he accumulates more money. Then he'll have his fun. Travel to China or Tibet. Or some country on South America or Africa.

Regular ambitions. Regular wishes for the future.

Oh, how fate loves to twist our path, huh?

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It all started in an ordinary day. Because non-ordinary occurrences have to punctuate inside a lukewarm routine just to give spice on life. Therefore, there laid our innocent Uzumaki Naruto, completely unaware that in five more minutes, his life will take a complete loop and mess with his normal schedule. He was, once again, busy choosing the best focus for the next shoot and sat aside for a moment to rest a little.

Now here comes the bait, that it's one of his ordinary friends. Strangely enough, the hook was also generated from an ordinary conversation, talking about daily topics and regular exchanges of experiences. Because every unexpected event had to camouflage behind common incidents, or it'd instantly encounter suspicious hindrance that may impair the objective.

Now here's the dialogue:

"Hey Uzumaki-kun!" Chirped a cheerful girl with long cascades of champagne colored hair.

"Hey Yamanaka-chan!" See? Ordinary conversation.

"So? When it'll be my time to pose?"

"Just more five minutes, Yamanaka-chan."

"Alrighty! I'll pester you instead then. It's because you're so cuuuuteeeee!!!" She hugged him gleefully from behind emitting a chuckle from the blond man.

"Then that would be called sexual harassment, Yamanaka-chan. Aren't you worried that your boyfriend would get jealous over this?" She shrugged her shoulders, pinching his cheek absentmindedly.

"Nah. Chouji? He's a good guy, he's superior to that. Poor him, that's why I love to harass him all the time."

Amused, Naruto shook his head. "And that's why you love him so much. I swear, I can't understand your relationship with him."

"It wasn't meant for anyone else to understand it, we're together and we're happy, that's all that really matters, right?" Ino grinned while she stretched the fluffy cheeks of her friend. "And when will be _your _time to be happy, Uzumaki-kun?"

The other one raised his hands in meek defeat and whined. "Oh no, we're not having this conversation right now."

"But it's your fault Uzumaki-kun and I can't believe that you ruined another date that I arranged specially for you. She was _absolutely _perfect for you, Uzumaki-kun!" Ino elevated her voice mild annoyed.

"Huh…I didn't think she was right to me, Yamanaka-chan…" Seriously, she didn't even know the current prime-minister that was administrating Japan.

"Why not?! She got a perfect model body, mind you, not as perfect as mine but somewhere up there, she was feminine, bubbly and gentle! You _had _to like her!" She protested slapping playfully his face.

"Not everything revolves around appearances, Yamanaka-chan. I think that you, above everybody should know."

"But you two would make such a cuuuuuuuuuuuuute couple!" Cue to a wild fussing.

"But maybe I don't want to have a cuuuuuuuuuuuute matchmaking!" Cue to smart-ass rebuttal.

The young model pouted and proceeded to hassle the caramel cheeks, as the poor victim of her pinching ignored her bullying to contemplate about her words. Naruto was indeed seeking someone in a romantic level, he guessed that arriving into a lonesome house everyday stung his soul from prior experiences of forlorn childhood. He desired to find someone who'd be able to eliminate that, though he didn't want to find someone who'd only temporarily warm his beds for a couple of days. Yearned to find a real relationship, with confessions, conversations, fights, make-up sex and all.

Some of the models would flirt with him and others (namely Ino) would try to arrange blind dates for him, though he didn't want to find empty faces with empty heart (and sometimes empty head). Sure, he had his years of one-night stands, but right now…maturity craved for his other half. His soul mate.

Ino sighed dejectedly. "Man…I go through all this trouble to find the ideal girl for you and you simply rejected her so easily on the first date. Do you really want to have a girlfriend, Uzumaki-kun?"

"Of course I want to! But I still haven't found the right person for me…" His cerulean eyes fogged from sad memories and mumbled. "I want to find someone special."

Glancing sympathetically at him, she did last pinch and squeezed hard, Naruto protesting slightly from the pain. "Alright, alright, I won't insist on this plan. Hey, if you're feeling so alone lately and still can't find a girlfriend, maybe you should buy a pet!"

"Huh?" The tanned man returned her statement bewildered.

"Yeah! Pets are great companions and surely would warm up your cold house. Ya know, open your door and find your dog wagging his tail waiting for you or a cat purring when you caress it! That would be so cute, right? And I know that you're a lonely person, maybe you need an animal to cheer you up!" Line.

"Well…maybe…but it's a common fact that a pet demand constant attention and I barely live in that house. Maybe it's not a good idea…" Naruto answered.

"Then you should adopt a cat! Heard that they're really independent and doesn't need too much cooing. It's the ideal for busy people like us!" Before her friend could open his mouth, she decided to rummage over her purse. "I know a great place where you can have a cat!"

"Do I need to pay fortunes for their pedigree?" The young man grimaced at the thought of raising an arrogant persa.

"No no…actually, they are a bunch of cat lovers who picks stray cats on the streets and raise them until they find someone interested to adopt them. My friend told me about it when I said that I wanted to have a cat together in a house that I'll buy with Chouji and maybe it'll help you out!" Ino showed the website to him. "They're pretty organized association, all the pets have taken vaccines and all. It's safe."

"Hm…" Naruto looked at the letters slightly interested.

Sinker.

"I'll take a look."

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The moment he returned to his house, he turned on the computer and typed the address. The design of the website was pretty clean and professional, and they also stamped proofs from government approval, essential legal information and all sorts. They posted some photos of people who had adopted a cat and were living happily with the new member of their family as well as many other successful sappy examples.

What really attracted Naruto to examine this program was the idea that he was adopting stray cats. Raise something that was unwanted and shower with attention and affection. When he used to be a bothersome brat, he always wished that some kind couple would adopt him and he would live a normal life filled with warmth. As days passed and hope diminished, he quickly learned to step aside that childish dream and seek his own destiny. Though that desire still persisted through past to nowadays. To give an opportunity for something that he failed to achieve.

He clicked on the adopting list and, much to his surprise, he only found a photo of a black cat with grey eyes. Wow, is this institution that successful that they managed to adopt everyone save this poor cat? He glanced over the set of photos. The cat looked like it was the brooding type, an unfriendly face and he wasn't a kitten anymore. Maybe that's why nobody wanted to take him. Too bad…Naruto wasn't the type to like gloomy personality…

He was almost moving to close the window when he stopped dead. But wait a minute…the poor guy. He was alone. Nobody could take him. Nobody wanted him. Maybe he'll wait for eternity and no one would ever give him home and food. He'll spend his entire life alone…

That was Naruto's decision to adopt the cat.

The poor target didn't even know that he had just entered in a trap and would be eaten alive…

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At the very next day, a cheerful pink-haired girl showed up with a carton box on her hands. She thanked for taking care of the cat and assured that it was absolutely domesticated and docile. After knowing that she was the one who was taking care of it before Naruto adopted it, he asked:

"Does it have a name then?"

For some odd reason, the girl snorted and looked inside the box. Then, she glanced towards the blond and answered sweetly:

"Oh no, you can choose whatever name you want to for him. He's an intelligent animal."

They exchanged goodbyes and telephones, in case that he'd find any problem with the feline and Naruto calmly opened the box to see his newly acquired pet.

The cat was currently staring back with a hungered expression until it smirked (smirked? Wha?) and jumped outside the small cubicle. The human scratched the back of his head. Well, he heard about how animals could be so similar in emotions with men so maybe that was the case. He grinned happily as the small fur ball scrutinized over his house, walking elegantly across the living room until it turned slightly his small stature to look at his owner and meowed.

"Oh. I betcha you're hungry, right?" Naruto went to his kitchen and brought cat food to his cat. "I've bought this brand for ya! Hope you'll like it!" He opened the can and placed in a small bowl, offering to it.

The slit eyes looked quite appalled towards the food and peeked back at his owner. The cerulean eyes just beamed back, contented for the prospect of seeing his adorable pet eating in front of him. With a sigh (does cat sighs too?) sharp canines chomped down the contents and cleaned up the plate. While it was bathing himself with its tongue, Naruto wondered:

"What kind of name I should choose to you…? I'm never good with names." He idly patted the upside head of the dark fur and mumbled. "Maybe I should call you…Momo! What do you think?"

The cat immediately stopped his activity to glare darkly at the human. Does cats also have the ability to glower too? The blond chuckled.

"Okay…maybe not." He grabbed the small fur ball and glanced at its stomach. "Oh, and you're male too. Maybe I should give you a masculine name then!"

The cat peeked suspiciously back.

"Genghis Khan!"

The feline paused. And then looked baffled towards his owner with a quirked eyebrow.

Wait, cats doesn't have eyebrows!

"Then…Julius Cesar!"

The cat looked like it wanted to die of embarrassment (or wanted to slap it's paw on it's forehead) before rolling its' graphite eyes to Naruto.

Cats can roll their eyes too? So weird!

"_Maybe I've been working too much lately…"_ He lightly rubbed his eyes with the back of his hands and glanced at his pet back.

"Then…how about Jaguar? Since you're a brooding cat and all."

The animal seemed to be considering this name (Huh? Are all cats capable to understand human language?) before putting his stamp, I mean, paw of approval on his tanned cheeks and lick unabashedly his face.

"Alright alright, I guess you liked then." He proceeded to be bathed in fondness by his new pet and returned back with a stroke next to the triangular ears. Purring contently from his caress, Jaguar continued to lick in every part of his skin, until Naruto laughed.

"Whoa, you surely like to lick more than a regular cat huh? So strange…"

"_And it seems to __specially prefer licking my lips. I wonder why…"_

He carried his cat towards the bedroom and contemplated.

"_Well, the website said that it'd better to make the cat sleep alone, or he'd grow to spoiled and too possessive towards the owner. Not to mention that he won't respect __me so much if I let him sleep together with me."_

But he wouldn't mind spoiling that ball of black fur. Pampering was something that he never had the opportunity to own and he wanted to give some to anyone else. Well, the respect part was troublesome but…

"Oh hell, one night wouldn't take so much of a difference, right?" Naruto gave his trademark toothy grin and the cat licked his mouth back. "Let's sleep together!"

He changed his clothes, placed his pet by his side, opened his blankets to dive inside and turned off the lights. "Good night Jaguar!"

The small animal purred back.

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The cat waited till the blond man would really fall asleep to stand aside and started his transformation. The black fur disappeared to there were long slender legs instead, the dark appearance substituted to an alabaster smooth skin and the feline features morphed into a human lines with sharp eyes and elegant face. The last remnants of original midnight color rested on his short hair, soft strands but spiky end. The now cat-turned-into-man looked affectionately to his owner in front of him (he snorted inwardly. Owner? Uchihas don't have owners, they _own._) and brushed the warm sun-kissed cheek with his fingertips.

He waited so long till he could personally touch this astonishing face. He longed so much to be this close to that tantalizing body. And he achieved them all.

The young…man? Cat? Revised mentally the rules about entering in the human society. First night, the human needed to know his true façade. Well, he _could _have morphed some hours prior to the current situation, but maybe he'd lose the opportunity to be so intimately next to this man…and he also wanted to see the expression that the blond will wear when he wakes up.

Also taking his share of blanket, the brunet covered himself to enter in a world of slumber.

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It's been long that Naruto had such satisfying and energizing sleep. Perhaps adopting a pet was a pretty good idea after all. The cold feeling whenever he went to rest was instantly gone, as he could hear the purring and soft breathes near his ear and soft strands of fur tickled his skin. The blond absentmindedly patted the head of his cat, using the other hand to cup a yawn while he sluggishly opened his eyes. Hm…he didn't remember that his cat had such long fur on his head.

Actually, they looked like they were human hair. What's this furless part of his body…? Huh? Was his cat supposed to be that big? It was almost using half of his bed! It wasn't supposed to be that heavy. What…it seemed that below that tuff of fur (hair) there laid an almost human-like face.

No wait. There really _is _a human face right in front of him. Not to mention that it was a manly face. Is he still dreaming? Naruto tapped the pale cheeks with both of his hands. Yep, smooth, he can feel it, it's not a dream. Who is this guy? Wait a minute…

!?!?!

WHO THE HELL IS HE?! And wait, this man is totally naked! Who?! What?! How?!

"UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" A startled yell shackled the walls of his room.

And that's how Naruto's ordinary life suddenly turned upside down. (Figuratively and literally, as he stumbled from his bed)

And that…will be the start of this bizarre adventure.

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Author notes: Naruto doesn't have the whiskered cheek mark. He'll have it later. Well? Comments? Flames? "Stop-writing-new-fics-and-end-the-old-ones" complains? Write it on! XD


	2. Paw 02

Author notes: Eh he. See? That's what you gain for not searching decently on the internet. Jaguars are generally yellow with black spots around his body, even though there are examples of black jaguars. Black felines are Panthers. But Panthers doesn't seem to be a cool name, so I'll stick with Jaguar. :P

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Paw 02 – Adopting you!

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"The…fuck? The hell?! Who the hell are you?! Why are you doing here in my hou—in my bed! Why are you naked?! How the hell you're here now?! What?! Why?! You!" Naruto pointed frantically to that mysterious stranger. The latter yawned.

"It's early morning, can't you wait until it's ten o'clock? Let's return to sleep…" He grumbled irritated as he shuffled the blankets with a sigh.

"Get out of my bed! Explain why the hell you're here! Pervert! Molester! Why the hell you're naked?!" Naruto grabbed the nearby pillow to whack on the upside of that black head.

Apparently the young man had short patience and quickly snapped, grabbing Naruto's wrist and pushed both of them to the ground with a loud thud. The blond could barely complain when his body fell sprawled painfully as he could see a pair of obsidian eyes glinting voraciously towards his terrified cerulean ones.

"Well…Now that you're already _subdued _enough…" He emphasized from the straddled position that they were in. "How about taking some calming breaths so I can explain clearly to you?"

"Wha…?! Get offa me!" And that flasher was conveniently wearing nothing. Naruto couldn't wait until he'd give a very well placed knee on his nuts and hear the girlish scream from this asshole.

A hand, unfortunately, caught in mid-action and forced his leg down. The freed tanned fist quickly aimed a punch on the milky jaw, though the same hand that was previously detaining his leg pressed few points the length of his arm and suddenly Naruto's arm disobeyed him, falling unhurriedly aside.

All the warning bells were now screaming to scoot away from that unfamiliar man. It was impossible that the vital points would be pressured in such accurate precision and in such high speed. Is this man even human?!

"Don't come closer asshole!" Naruto tried to wiggle out of his captive moment only to fuel the man previous short tolerance and the dark-haired stranger pointed towards each side of his shoulder blades and his chest, completely incapacitating him now.

All his body went numb. Oh god, he's going to be murdered! Slaughtered! Is this man a serial-killer?! Oh no! Most of this type of psychopath likes to rape the victim before ending its life! Noooo!! He doesn't want to be raped, he's a man! That will horribly crush his manly pride! Fuuuuuck!!

"Nooooooo!! I'm not your type, I don't swing that side, I'm a man dammit! Go pick someone else and leave me alooooooneeee!! I don't wanna die!!" Naruto screamed using full power of his lungs.

"Shut up idiot, you're loud." That man actually sounded _annoyed _about this whole predicament. Well…!

"WHAT?!" The piercing yell shook momentarily the room. "Go to hell you flasher! Exhibitionist! Who the fuck you are and what the fuck you're trying to do with me?!" Naruto winced from the unholy smirk forming on his captor's face.

"Well…finally an interesting question. What do you think I'll do to you…hm…?"

GAH! He's a gay psychopath molester raper!! Oh, almighty God!! Where are you?! Naruto squirmed in increasing fear trying to escape through.

"As for who I am, well…I'm your cat." The brunet answered nonchalantly.

Huh?

"Huh?" _That _statement _finally _took the blond's attention and he quieted down to look above. "What the fuck is this kind of lame excuse?! Pick something more convincing, jerk!"

There was a roll of graphite eyes.

"Fuck you! Unhand me _n-o-w_!!"

The same eyes tilted one eyebrow smugly.

"And for fuck sake's, go somewhere and WEAR SOME CLOTHES, YOU PERVERT!"

The eyes crinkled in mild amusement.

"What? Liking too much on what you're seeing?" The captor murmured huskily.

"No! It's disgusting, fucker! And you're a whacko! Who the hell in sane mentality would say that he's a _cat_?!" Naruto screeched in ferocity.

"Because I am."

"Yeah right! And I'm a panda then! Crazy asshole!"

"Alright. Maybe I should show it to you rather on joining this contest of yelling."

And before he could furrow his golden eyebrows in bewilderment, the brunet poked the tanned body back to function again before he began to shrink unnaturally, his hairless ivory body acquired black fur, his elegant face morphed into a feline one, his human ears disappeared as popped cat's ones, his eyes had slit iris now and a tail was added. All in all, now appeared right in front of the widened cerulean eyes, the same cat that he adopted yesterday.

"Wh—Wh—Wh—" Naruto pointed with his trembling finger towards his not-so-innocent pet as he tried to form more coherent syllables. "Huuh? Wha—? Eeeh?"

"Now you're convinced then?" The same voice from the previously human form came from the animal's throat.

"You—you—you TALK! A TALKING CAT!" The blond man openly gawked, immobile from sheer astonishment.

The cat lifted his paw towards his own mouth and yawned. "I guess. So, can we go back to sleep now?"

Naruto reacted like anyone who 'just-found-out-that-his-pet-was-not-a-normal-pet-and-is-a-strange-_thing_-with-supernatural-abilities". Though we'd have to admit…this type of occurrence rarely would happen towards any normal person, so we can't estimate what is the regular response towards such moment. Therefore, we'll just simply describe Naruto's.

THUMP.

He promptly _fainted._

The cat snorted. At least he'll have some more hours of napping before figuring out some way to snap his _owner _out of cold. Hm…he hated waking up early at day.

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10:30 and the black-haired man was currently trying to return Naruto's to consciousness, but failing horribly. Not that he was making extenuating efforts about it, he was content, savoring the caramel colored face and remembering all the _fine _details that he failed to see last night from the lack of light.

Satisfied from his keen observations as he already took note of all his favorite parts of that lean body, the pale-skinned man made a small tour inside the house. It's not like he had never seen there before, it's just that it was always gazing outside from that wall. It was his first time that he was inside the building. He took a bathrobe from the toilet and casually wore him in, patting inwardly to himself from being such an _obedient _pet.

More than half an hour had passed and the ex-cat was already considering whether if he should reinforce his attempts to wake his dumbass of an owner or he'll probably succumb the desire to grope that oh-so-squishy pair of buttocks that were tempting him to do (in)appropriate actions. Oh…what should he do…? A delicious snack now or an appetizing banquet later? Snack now or banquet later?

Fortunately (for Naruto), the eyelids groggily were revealing his ocean blue color as he focused his vision bit by bit. Slowly, the blond finally situated his currently location (on the ground) his current situation (being molested by a pair of hands) and his current _bizarre _and _outlandish _problem (the man-turned-cat gazed back without much disturbance, he only wanted to have some _fun _here, people)

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" An earsplitting glass-breaking scream filled the entire living room, the graphite eyes scrunched shut from the high level of shrillness. The blond man was trying to pry far away from that strange creature. "What the hell are you?!"

"I believe that you've already asked this ques—"

"No, wait! How the hell you're my _cat?! _You you you you!! You're not human!"

The man raised another eyebrow, relaying the message: 'Well, duh.' That promptly changed Naruto's track of mind.

"Hey! Did you just make the face of 'you're so stupid' to me, you Bastard?" The tanned man snarled.

The other one shot another black jet eyebrow upwards, meaning: 'wow, you actually figured it out by yourself.' And Naruto was practically blowing fire from his nostrils.

"You prick! You can go to hell now! Oh god! All what's happening now is a strange dream right? A frikkin' flasher, a cat that can turn into human, this is a dream, a dream!" Fingertips dig fiercely to his golden scalp, shaking his head exasperated. After some subsequent minutes of wild shaking, Naruto looked up to see if the illusion had died out.

The man continued to smirk pleasantly back. Nope, still there.

"It's not a dream, dumbass."

"The dream still talks!" Naruto wailed profusely.

"Can we stop this annoying session of denial? I have better things to do rather than trying to convince your retarded head that this is reality."

"How the hell this is a reality if you're…you're…" Naruto used his trembled finger to point to that strange creature again.

"I'm a youkai, is that the term that you're fishing now?"

"Exactly! That's why this is a dream! Youkais are part of fantasies! Japanese mythology! THEY DON'T EXIST!"

"Do you want me to transform to cat back again if you want more convincing then?" Ah…the frightened face. He decided that this expression is also his favorite one, so delicious!

"No! Gah! It's too creepy!" Naruto stammered. The other man quirked a black eyebrow. It wasn't that bad you know…

"Then you're convinced."

"I…I…ok." The blond man took several breaths to calm down. "WHY ARE YOU HERE?!" And promptly use all his energy to pull more deafening screams.

"You mean more exactly…why me?" After a strong nod of agreement, the strange man spoke in a very lazy matter. "You know the popular myth that in ancient times youkais and sennin used to live in the sky, right?"

Naruto relented. Yes, it was the typical adventure stories that he liked to hear when he was a kid. Son Goku, Nataku and all.

"Well then…all of those stories were true. Except that those sennin do not exist, they are only a better modified youkais that succeeded to tame their animal instincts and humanity labeled them as Sennin."

"And how everything has anything to do with me??" Naruto asked.

"Several millenniums ago…most of the youkais were wiped out in a huge war that destroyed many cities and many civilizations. When it ended, not many survived so we had to slowly repopulate our clans. However, since youkais doesn't have a high birth rate, we finally reached into the acceptable number recently now."

"Then…?" The tanned man crossed his arms stubbornly as he continued to perceive the strange living being sitting in front of him.

"Then, our residences have at last reached to its limit so the councils decided that this may be the time where we should return to the land and live on the ground. Not many youkais likes to live in the sky. Therefore we started to call some of us to re-contact with humanity after that many years of isolation. We've selected few people who we believe that will accept those terms and slowly we'll return to be part of your society."

Naruto understood, his eyes wide. "Then…that means…the adopting stray cats program is…"

"No…normally it's a regular institution about adopting normal cats…when we want our prey to enter in our trap, we would usually hack in his computer and lay the bait until the victim bits it." And Naruto didn't like the arrogant and perverted smirk that the youkai had lifted while he spoke the last statement.

"Y…you…why me?" Suddenly, two strong arms drug him to the ground and with a gasp Naruto realized that this position was uncomfortably familiar like some hours prior.

"Why…why indeed. Do you really want to know…?" The dark-haired man slowly drew his tongue to moisten his lips as his eyes had a sultry look.

The blond instantly gulped terrified.

"Hey! Don't even dare! Why me!" He started to wiggle out from the tight grasp, yelling out. "I'm not GAY! I like women! Boobs, ass, vagina, all those things! GET OFF ME!"

"Oh." The youkai gave a slight pensive glance before smirking maliciously. "But I also share your opinion about favored parts of human body. Nipples…" Slender fingers ran through the well-built torso of his captive. "Ass…" Another sly hand ran through Naruto's side until he cupped lewdly a tender flesh emitting a frightened gasp from the blond man. "And sexual organs…" Luckily, this time, Naruto promptly interrupted the meticulous inspection with a hand on his nether regions. "Aren't you glad that we have so much in common, hm?" The cat-turned-man purred.

"No, damn you! Get offa me! I've never said that I'd want to live with a pervert like you! Cancel this idea ri-gh-t now! Return whatever whacko world you came from! You—you!!! You don't belong to this world that we live!"

"What's this? An exercise of exorcism?" The youkai tilted his black eyebrow again in amusement.

"So what if it is?! You're a youkai! You're a demon! BEGONE! And make this nightmare disappear from my eyes dammit!" Naruto tried to free his wrists insistently, though with no avail.

"Ah…no. Try again dumbass." That damned to hell of smirk was stamped on the pale face once more.

"Then I don't agree with this whole crap! There isn't any way to say that I don't want your fucking ass (Leer. "_Oh…but you'll want my ass someday, dumbass."_) and isn't there some kind of way to show that I _reject _this ridiculous idea?! I've never had my consent!" The blond man sputtered with outrageous indignation.

"But you'd already confirmed in my contract that you'll agree cohabitating with me, you know." The brunet singsonged.

"Contract?!"

"Yes, contract." The man finally freed his body making Naruto scramble far away from that sly graphite eyes.

"Contract?! I don't remember about any contract!"

"Let me help."

"Huh—" Naruto gave a startled yelp when a sharp fingernail cut through his thumb, smearing with his blood, the youkai brought a piece of paper out of nowhere and stamped the injured fingertip at the white surface.

"This…" The brunet showed the paper, now with Naruto's crimson digit marked on the line and waved tauntingly in front of the widened cerulean eyes. "Contract."

"What the fu—" He tried to catch the document away from the haughty arms, though his pointless flailing led many openings through his body and…

"STOP GROPING MY ASS YOU JERK!" Naruto jumped a few meters away from his attacked while the latter feigned innocence. "And gimme back this goddamn piece of paper!"

"Come here and catch it." Another smug smirk.

The young man narrowed his blue eyes. Time to show that he was an expert in kung-fu and this bastard would regret for ever picking on his patience. Naruto prepared a well aimed hook towards the fair-colored chin until…

The man quickly turned into the black cat and jumped high towards the tall cabinets.

"WHAT! YOU—" At this point, the blond already realized that this horrible scenario was a reality and complained in deafening volume. "CHEATER! COME BACK HERE YOU FUCKER!"

The cat only purred mockingly back, the contract on his mouth while the tail swished around, in deliberate sarcasm to Naruto.

The latter fumed.

"Oh…is that how you wanted?! Fine!" He reached for his telephone and started to tap on the familiar digits with his tanned fingers. "I'll call the fireman and say that there's a stray cat inside my house! I'm gonna see how you're getting of _that!_" Contract or no contract, who said that he would agree living with that jerk?!

Until he coughed breathless, his vision fell and Naruto felt the cool tiles beneath his body.

"**You won't dare.**" A venomous hiss covered his ear as the youkai had successfully tackled him on the ground, a hand pinned his arms while the other one encircled his neck.

It was the first time that the strange man eliminated the playful tone and threatened him, and Naruto visibly shuddered in response from the sudden removal of mischievous atmosphere around them.

But whatever the fucking care, his sanity was in grave danger, dammit!

"The fuck! Take your disgusting body away from me _now!_"

"You don't understand…" A mutter.

"…What…?"

"It has to be you…" A lower whisper with desperate edges.

The blond slightly tilted his head to throw a questioning glare towards the brunet. Okay…till now he's a pervert, youkai, manipulative, freaking strong and fast martial artist and an arrogant asshole. He didn't want to add _insanity _to the chart now.

"Well…why?"

The dark grey eyes purposely turned away from his glance and snorted dismissively, detaching his limbs away from the tanned ones and gave Naruto some time to recover his breath.

"That's enough…I mean. Why the fuck it has to be _me_?" He palmed his injured throat while the brunet peeked with slight remorse. "Answer me."

There was no rebuttal coming from the youkai and Naruto gave an exasperated sigh. "Well, I bet that if I call again to your caretaker, well, I guess I can't call her your caretaker since you _obviously _is not a cat, so—"

"No." A firm grip enveloped his arm.

"You—" The blue-eyed man felt his impatience snapping back.

"I don't want…to return. I can't and won't go back."

Another bewildered blink. The voice was oozing rejection and disheartened spirit but there was something else that Naruto could identify and feel running through his own veins. The emotion that he always sought to purge away from his soul.

Loneliness.

"I…" The blond muttered, not trusting to find the sound of his voice. "Alright. _Maybe _I'll have a trial of few days with you and help you out, asshole."

It was now the youkai's side to widen his eyes incredulously.

"But no groping! Nothing perverted, don't try anything funny or I'll break each of your goddamn finger, you hear me!" Naruto warned. "And next time don't you dare sleeping naked next to me!"

The return of the lethargic smug smirk. "So you're saying that it'd be fine if I sleep with you then?"

The tanned face felt an incoming of flush. "No, you son of a bitch! I said don't try anything funny, does the 'sleeping with me' part fit in this category, huh?!" As he saw the black locks shaking in mirth, Naruto growled. "Then we've already done putting the basics ground rules! Live with me, but you'll have to obey _my _rules, _my _thoughts and _my _limits!"

"Hn." Was that a grunt of acknowledgment or denial?! "Whatever."

"Then we're done." Naruto crossed his arms in begrudged fashion and spoke. "So, what's your name then?"

The graphite eyes blinked back. "Huh?"

"Obviously, your name is not 'Jaguar' or anything like that, am I right? So, what's your true name then?"

He'd never imagine that the blond man would be really interested to know about this. A real small smile graced on his lips.

"Uchiha Sasuke. My name is Uchiha Sasuke."

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Author notes: Pft. What were you expecting, ukeish!Naruto? Sorry…I've said that the only OOC would be Sasuke. XD …He's OOC, right? Please tell me that he's OOC…if he's IC it'd be boring!

This type of story and everything is the result of years watching Taiwanese soap operas…XD Oh, so fun. :P

Oh yeah, Son Goku (chinese name called Su Hu Khon) is not Son Goku from Dragonball Z, though Toriyama used its name as a reference. Son Goku is a mythical monkey from the story "Journey to the West" who likes to make pranks, to fight (he loves fighting strong people. It's his signature. Oh…and he can pull some of his fur and transform them into his clones. Hey, Kage bunshin anyone? :P) but most of the time he has a good heart. In that story, he serves a monk; called Sanzo Houshi. Oh, if you guys watched Saiyuki, all those names are extremely familiar, no?

Nataku (chinese name called Naa Zhe) also is a popular figure from chinese/Japanese mythology, he's used to be a heartless boy who used to be hated by his own father. Only when he died (forgot how and why, it's such an old story for me!) and revived inside a Flower Lotus (Thumbelina?) he acquired strong powers, he can walk on air using rings on his feet, and he's an expert on spears.


	3. Paw 03

Author notes: Sigh. I'll apologize for the lateness. It's just that…this fic was like; hey, I think I'm gonna write it with zero of plot (for now, the first arc) and only when I can. So that's why. But I wasn't expecting that people would get interested in this fic (I'm serious) I mean…I wasn't expecting _that _many. While I was seeing that there were a lot of people that liked this fic, I was like: noooo! Stop fav. It! So…huh…yeah. Lots of pressure. I'm afraid that you people will dislike the course of this story ('cuz I won't concentrate only in SasuNaru) so…well. Here we go…

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Paw 03 – The first day of the _nightmare_

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Another start of another customary day. Another beginning of his daily journal. The blonde lazily stretched his arms wide, swinging around his body in slight slumbering state as he dumbly put his slippers in his feet and walked to his bathroom, idly scratching his well-built stomach inside his wrinkled pajamas.

And then he stopped dead.

A Glare situated that there was another habitant inside his safe haven, while the petit black body was currently sitting on the toilet bowl, obviously doing his usual business. After it, the cat deftly jumped on the boxed toilet flush and with his tiny paw he pressed the button followed with the habitual gargled watery noise, while the cat dropped the toilet cover to sit on it and rip politely some of the toilet paper, cutting efficiently just on the dotted mark and cleaned his behind, making a ball afterwards and throwing on the waste can.

Naruto just watched in mixed shocked-admiration awe, his jaw dropped at the same time that the black ball of fur jumped to the sink and turned the tap on, water running fluidly, cleaning up the small flurry paws, rubbing it with orange scented liquid soap. With another silent creak the cat turned it off, drying the dampened parts with a towel nearby. As the youkai gracefully jumped to the floor and was walking towards his dumbstruck of an owner, Sasuke lifted an eyebrow and smirked:

"What? Never saw a cat using properly the toilet and washing his hands?"

The total bizarre fact of a human voice coming from an animal throat followed from very _sarcastic _expression on the feline features was what woke Naruto from his stupor and he glanced down, to his pet.

"As a matter of fact…no." He raised his own fair eyebrow. "Is it normal for average cats to do such things, bastard?"

Sasuke shrugged it off.

"You should take some time on Saturdays to watch TV then. There are some impressive videos that they show on Animal Planet." The cat took some minutes to flex his frontal paws in a lazy stretch and sauntered away from the blond man.

It's official. Naruto is certain that if he continues witness such unearthly things, he's going insane.

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After he brushed his teeth, washed his face in long contemplative pauses, the previous images still burning in his mind as he rewinded and played a hundred times, he was sure that this new kind of routine would forever tarnish his inner mind. A cat…making human chores…too disturbing.

Sighing while he changed to daily clothes, he moved towards his kitchen and flickered the lamp on, only to realize that it was already lightened up and he inquired his gaze towards the room:

"UWAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" He yelled instinctively when he saw a brunet eating Japanese breakfast that winced from the high shrill of his scream.

"What the hell you dumbass?! Already being an annoying idiot early in this morning!" Sasuke snarled while he cupped his hands to his ears.

"Then why the fuck have you changed yourself now! It was already traumatizing seeing a _cat _using a toilet, I'm still not used in seeing a stranger eating breakfast here!" Naruto retorted.

Sasuke shrugged without any sense of worry. "I thought that it'd be better if I shift to my human shape since you looked like you saw a ghost when I was using the bathroom."

The blond snorted. "Yeah right! It's pretty obvious that you decided that just 'cuz it'd be more shocking to me you sadist!"

Sasuke lazily ate another portion of grilled fish. "Hn." He grunted smugly. "Start getting used to this, idiot."

"Bastard." Grumbling, he sat haphazardly on the chair while the seething cobalt eyes peered over the content of this morning. "It's not ramen!" Naruto complained.

"Idiot, you should feel aware that exist other ingredients and food inside the Earth aside Ramen."

"But Ramen is the bestest food in the world!" Naruto whined.

"You'll have anemia if this continues further on, that's why I'm providing you _decent _food instead of garbage. You should be thankful that I'm wasting my time in cooking something for you." The brunet spoke nonchalantly.

"Bah, you're a freeloader and a crazy youkai, that's the least you should do for me, you bastard." Nevertheless, Naruto grabbed his chopsticks and nipped some of the marinated shiitakes, eating with rice. He paused, widening his eyes.

Myriad of flavors enriched throughout his mouth, while the perfect smooth texture was registered from his mouth. Each grain of rice was neither too soggy or too hard, the seasoning on the shiitake combined perfectly without being too strong nor too bland, and everything was in the right amount. Naruto couldn't even notice that he quickly swallowed his food and took a bigger mouthful of it, eating while he squeezed his eyes in delight.

"Hn. Is the food that delicious, idiot? You inhaled all of it in record time." His graphite eyes glinted in haughty satisfaction as, even though the blond glared with all his worth towards him, he continued to eat all of them until nothing rested on the plates.

While he was munching his breakfast however, Naruto kept making scandalous appreciative noises that were consuming all Sasuke's libido. The way the tongue kept darting on and off, trying to salvage the crumbles from his food on that pair of sinuous lips as moans and contented humming followed right behind fed a _lot_ of information on how Naruto would act on bed.

"_Probably ten times more potent and sexier, I hope." _Satisfied with his (hopefully daily) dose of 'provision' the brunet stood from his seat and put the dirty dishes on the sink and began washing them.

Naruto cocked his head on a side, clearly not understanding the current scenario. Aside the first minutes of tragedy, there was something warm curling languidly on his belly when he saw such domestic life with that stranger in front of him. Something that told him that he'll quickly get used to this situation and this youkai will swiftly infiltrate inside his days.

Dispatching aside this mysterious emotion, Naruto also placed the plates on the sink and waited till the dark-haired man would end his activity. Naruto was naturally moving in front of the faucet as Sasuke was calmly placing the wet cleaned dishes to be dried when…

Naruto felt some fingers brushing on his ass.

The sun-kissed face immediately frowned in a deathly glower, the sapphire hue aiming icy daggers towards the indifferent onyx ones. It appeared that Sasuke didn't understand the silent fury coming from Naruto, as the brunet moved aside in an unhurried speed, walking towards the refrigerator.

The man scratched the back of his golden head. _"Perhaps I made a mistake?"_ Shrugging, he returned to his task and began soaping the ceramic bowl, unaware that Sasuke approached again from behind and opened the drawer next to Naruto, though he securely grabbed one leg, very closely to his thigh.

**Now **he's pretty sure of that asshole intentions.

"Hey! Watch where you are touching with that hand, you pervert!" The blond readily protested, trying to yank away the slender fingers, however, much to his dismay, Sasuke enforced more strength, successfully encircling around his leg.

"What kind of lewd attitude you're accusing me of?" The brunet asked.

"Y-y-you…look where exactly your fucking hand is touching, you asshole! My leg!" The other one protested.

"…What? The detergent is almost out, I'm picking a new one, that's all."

"And what does anything has to do with you groping my leg?!"

"It's easy to stumble in such slippery floor, therefore I needed a _leverage _(Sasuke squeezed a little bit as a form of emphasis) to balance me out while I'm crouched."

"Bastard!" Naruto growled, trying to separate each finger from his leg but with no avail. "Then grab something else, the sink, the other door, anything!"

"Hm…but where else I'd find the ideal place to let my hand hold onto it? It's long, it's smooth (the fingertips brushed throughout the length) and it's **hard** (another playful squeeze)." The youkai curled up his lips, forming a very lewd smirk.

Does he really have to make all those words sound so wrong?! Naruto thought, flushing madly from the implications Sasuke insinuated. However, before he could open his mouth and utter another complaint, the brunet placed the new detergent and was moving away from him.

Squinted cerulean eyes kept following suspiciously Sasuke's actions until the distance held a safeguard place. Only when the youkai positioned near the door, Naruto relaxed a little bit his guard, returning to soap his dishes though suddenly, a hot breeze murmured near his ear.

"See? Till now I've done nothing wrong, there's nothing for you to whine about. Just wait until I give _good reasons _to do so." And then, an ivory hand gave slow pat pat on Naruto's butt cheek.

"AH! PERVERT!"

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"I've had enough! I said yesterday that you're totally forbidden to do anything funny you asshole!" A finger was very close to Sasuke's eye, trying to poke his eyeball out.

However, the youkai only lifted a black eyebrow as it appeared that it was relaying a message of; 'what I've done wrong?' to the human blond, though Naruto continued, relentless.

"No pervert business, you jerk! Do it one more time and you're out of my house! Hah! You should know that I hold the power in here, ya know!" There was a temporary victorious aura surrounding the smug blond while onyx eyes stared over meticulously until Sasuke made another derisive snort followed with a chuckle.

"Idiot. Do you really think I'd enter in your house without any safeguard?"

"Wh-what do you mean by that…?" Naruto slumped his shoulders, frightened.

"If you think that we youkais are merely people who travel down from the sky to merely greet from time to time you mortal humans, you're severely wrong. We hold high position of power inside your society. Many well-known celebrities, tycoons, influential figures are youkais. I could only use a simple flicker of thumb…" Sasuke showed with a snap between his fingers. "And your whole social, financial, career life will end. How about that?"

"…So if you didn't succeed on convincing me by yourself, you'd try by means of coercion?" Naruto asked, somewhat miffed.

There was no vocalized answer to his inquiry, Sasuke only returned to read his newspaper.

"You're real asshole, did you know that?" The blond grumbled, picking up the lens to put in his camera backpack. "If you youkais are all so goddamn powerful, why haven't you all dominated this world long time ago?"

"We have a low birth-rate. Although we can live for three to five hundred years, one youkai usually conceives one or two offspring, three at most. And since we were almost obliterated from the large war millenniums ago, we're still scarce, in comparison to humans."

"Ah…" Naruto took some minutes to swallow the words until he realized. "Whoa, you guys can live that long?!"

"Yes, not to mention that we usually have some special enhanced abilities that are derived from our natural animal side. That's the reason that many youkais have climbed up to renowned names in the human society. Snakes have the power of hypnotizing and they contain poison on their nails and teeth, felines as a general have an elegant and attractive appearance, lions have natural leadership qualities and so more."

"Whoa. That's pretty cool. And what? The next thing that you'll say is that you specialize in cat-fu?" Naruto jokingly said.

A raised and languid eyebrow shot in his direction and the cerulean eyes returned to his appointed stuff, concluding that he _really _didn't want to know the answer.

"Crap, but you guys are all so powerful and stuff, what's the point? There must be some kind of mistake in the evolution chart, it's way more practical being a youkai than a human!" The human realized.

"Not at all." Without waiting a bat, Sasuke explained. "We're in constant battle with our instinctual animal craves with our intellectual sides. Many youkais in the end, however, have high pangs of bloodlust and destruction or many others preferred to surrender themselves to those craves and enjoy the annihilation and carnage. We have serious issues about those problems."

"Whoa…that's kinda complicated then. Humans are the ones who eliminated those craving and can live with rational side overpowering the instinct then?"

"Yes. Though the downside would be shorten of life span and none of your abilities would be connected with animals. However, you can heighten them up with proper training."

"Yeah! Like your kung-fu!" At meeting the puzzled graphite eyes, Naruto continued. "Did ya know that I'd specialized in tiger kung-fu for years and I've obtained the master's permission to teach other people in 4 years ago, but even so I didn't manage to point so accurately the chi locations like yours?! And you'd such frightening speed too!"

"Oh. But that's the level you'd obtain if you're 152 years old…" Sasuke slightly singsonged with laced arrogance.

It was Naruto's turn to snort, finishing organizing his work stuff while he grumbled. "Hey, that's cheating. If I knew that I was fighting against an old creep like you I'd have bought a gun instead trying using fists."

"If you want, I can give you some tips."

Blue eyes blinked. "Eh, really?"

"Yes. Like you've said, since I'm freeloading your place…that's the least I could do." Sasuke declared monotonously.

The blond furrowed his eyebrows, not exactly understanding the point. Surely, it's not everyday that a seasoned fighter would altruistically offer himself to teach some things. And above all, this…perverted, lewd, manipulative youkai _obviously _had obscure thoughts in mind to propose such bidder.

Oh well. Beggars can't be choosers.

"Alright then! Thursday my teacher Iruka is giving classes so we could use the arena to practice a little. Well." He opened up his door. "I'm off."

"Hn." The youkai turned himself as a cat and twirled back to the bedroom.

So uncute. Bah. For some flitting seconds, Naruto wanted to ask if Sasuke wouldn't feel bored staying home all day waiting for him, but since that icy bastard was such an uncaring pet, he didn't give a damn.

It appears the statement that cats are cold and indifferent towards their owners is true.

"_I should've bought a dog."_ Naruto grumbled, exiting his house.

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On the way of his work, though, Naruto didn't encounter anything out of ordinary in his daily life. He lived in a secure and homely neighborhood at the outskirts of Tokyo, people inside the shops greeted courteously as the blond returned the greeting energetically likewise. He would then check at a nearby electronic store the latest models of digital camera, since he did play sometimes with them when he didn't want to make serious shoots and then, stare in envy some pamphlets about traveling abroad. Followed right after, he always gave some coins to some beggar that lived near the subway, the man always expressed deep gratitude whenever he placed the tips.

Although Naruto always contemplated that if that man used a decent image, he'd probably receive more money. Seriously, what kind of man would use an orange, full covered, lollypop style of mask?!

As he finally arrived at the studio, a cheerful voice already tackled behind him.

"Uzumaki-kyuuunnn!!! So, have you decided to adopt a cat in the end?" Ino asked, already pinching the sun-kissed cheeks.

Oh yeah. It was Ino's idea at the start. "Yeah, I've already have one in my house."

"Really?!?!?!?! Awww, I'm so happy for you! Then? Did he like you? Did you like him? Is he someone sweet? Oh! Is the cat a boy or a girl? Tell me, tell me! What kind of cat is he?" The blond girl cooed out excitedly, but at this moment Naruto was swimming through her questions.

Crap. What kind of cat is he…? For once, definitely perverted, yep, that's for sure. Then, sadist. That smug smirk and snobbish attitude didn't help him a lot either. Not to mention that the fucking asshole is a manipulative bastard, a faker, errr…what else?

Well, at least he kicks a punch and his cooking is not that bad either.

"Hummm…how can I explain it…" He rubbed the back of his neck troubled, though Ino didn't wait a breath.

"Oh whatever, I think I'd want to meet him! I love cats sooooooo much! So, can I come over this night and take a peek of your new pet?"

Noooooooooooooooooo… "Alright…" Murmuring in defeat, Naruto complied, since he couldn't bring up with a reasonable explanation on why his friend couldn't come.

"Oh, don't be so gloomy. I promise that I'll make Chouji bring up some good sushi for us to eat!"

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Black ears prickled in alert, flickering slightly, hearing the growing sounds of steps. Sasuke also sensed their chi's, it appeared that they were mere civilians, followed from a very familiar one, that it'd be the dumbass of his owner. Concluding that Naruto probably brought some guests to his house, the youkai stayed in his small animal form.

"I'm hoooomeeee…" A loud voice greeted, the black cat chose to heave a yawn while he stretched wide his paws, swaying languidly to meet the blond.

"Ah! It's him! Oh, he's such a cutie!!!" Another energetic blond woman appeared behind Naruto, crouching slightly to meet his slit eyes. "Say, can I touch him?"

A raised golden eyebrow shot towards Sasuke while the onyx eyes stared evenly back. There was a subtle wordless conversation between them, the glaring blue ones (you better obey me out) while the furball glowered back (no way, it's a woman, I'll get rabies) until the youkai relented, and moved a step closer to her, nudging slightly.

Ino, obviously, turned into a pile of squealing goo, and began fussing and making squeaking noises, brushing the upside head of the animal. "Oh my god, he's so obedient! Chouji, don't you wanna pet him too?"

Her boyfriend only smiled gently. "Oh no, you can have your fun first. I'll place the sushi on the counter."

"Okie! Awww…isn't he just precious? Is he always that docile?"

"_What do you think? No, obviously, he's always the freaking perv." _Naruto shooed the nibbling voice screaming on his mind and spoke. "Well, usually he's a loner, maybe he switched the moods today." Like a woman in PMS. "But at least he doesn't scratch anyone, right, _Ja-guar?_" Naruto highlighted through gritted teeth.

Sasuke slowly retracted his nails, while Ino wasn't looking at him. _"That was a low tactic, dumbass."_ Another message was conveyed through Glare.

The blond man retorted with an exhibition of pink appendage from his mouth.

"Eh? His name is Jaguar? Then he's a male, right?" Ignoring the silent discussion, Ino grabbed the cat and looked under his belly. "Oh, he's a male, alright. Say, don't you think it'd be better if he get neutered?"

Oh my frikkin' god, that would be a _great _idea. "Hm…why…not?" Naruto beamed in a maddening wicked way.

This time, an Uchiha Glare ®. _"Try it and you'll see what I'll do to you, idiot."_

The lopsided grin turned even more malicious. _"Oh hoh. So, I have an upper hand about this?" _Naruto's mischievous side finally kicked in and he declared smoothly. "Actually, I think that Jaguar is such an _inteeeeeligent _and _obeeeeeeedient _pet that he'll hear whatever command you have in mind, _right_ Jaguar?"

"_Right my, actually, __**your **__ass, moron. Just you wait until all of your friends are out of your home." _He could throw a ball of chi just to punish Naruto, but he guessed that now wouldn't be ideal time for it since all of the humans would react startled.

"Really? Then, then…come here Jaguar!" Ino said and, with a muffled sigh, the black cat moved towards her way. "Wow, he really does understand what I'm saying!" She declared, truly impressed.

"Isn't he? He's a pretty…intelligent…**pet.**" Naruto met another powerful glower, but he ignored for his sanity sake's.

"Hm…gimme your paw, Jaguar!" Ino showed her hand while the cat looked down, trying to burn to cinders with the force of his glare the imagery that filled his sight. Though since the woman hadn't moved at all, Sasuke grunted (noiselessly though) and placed his tiny flurry paw on the upside of her palm.

"Oh…that's so adorable! Uzumaki-kun, you surely had a lot of luck on adopting such adorable pet like him!" Ino cooed happy, however, Naruto was fighting the urge to snort. Unlucky indeed. Who'd thought that in any kind of weird scenario he'd end up adopting a perverted youkai?

Not enough sated with _his _sadist tendencies, Naruto also approached himself from the small ball of fur and spoke. "You should see all the others abilities that he has to show. Well…**Jaguar**. Sit!" Sasuke sat (broodingly). "Lie down!" Sasuke lied down (glaring up). "Roll over!" After some excruciating minutes of scowl, the cat rolled his body one time. "Pretend dead!"

"_I'll make you pretend dead!" _Ignoring the last command, Sasuke jumped towards his owner and began climbing through his body (using his sharp nails).

"Ow! Stop it!" Naruto struggled to tug off the seething animal that was glued around his body. "That hurts you bastard, gerroff!" He succeeded to extract the cat from the nape of his neck and glared hard towards his pet while Sasuke tried to reach his paw towards the tanned face to scratch it all over.

"…Uzumaki-kun…?" Both of his visitors gazed perplexed at the strange atmosphere of animosity between the pet and it's owner, as both of them realized their faults and restarted to their normal moods.

"Eh…hehe…ya know, that was a tentative try of reinforcing our brotherly bonds, you see!" Naruto placed delicately the black cat while the latter retracted his claws and rested on the ground, looking as innocent and guiltless as before.

"I see…so, I'm going to prepare the table, we're eating my sushi tonight!" Chouji declared proudly while both of his friends clapped in approval. They all sat around a low height, Japanese style of table while there laid fluffy cushion around the rectangular furniture.

Ah, sushi. Though not as succulent or addictive like tomato or onigiri, Sasuke's eyes glittered in festering envy while everyone placed the sushi boat and started to eat them up. Not wanting to be outdone, the youkai approached himself from his owner and poked some times with his paw at Naruto's jeans.

"_Hm, what?" _Staring down, there laid his cat asking for some stray food, though, in where most of the cases there'd usually be a pleading googly eyes from the pet, instead, there was a 'you better obey me or else' gangsta glare from the graphite eyes.

Naruto scoffed, absolutely not acquiesced to his pet's maneuver, choosing to eat slowly, nibbling each side of the dish while he grinned smugly to Sasuke.

The black cat glared viciously towards his owner.

"Meow!" The sudden interruption startled all of the present people and Ino also chose to look down and murmur in sympathy.

"Awww…poor Jaguar. So you want to eat some sushi, mmhm? Yep yep, the delicious smell must have attracted you to eat some fresh fish, how about I give you some now?" She took a sushi from her hand and was ready to place it on the floor when Naruto interrupted.

"No fucking way!"

All the incredulous stares were directed to him now. (Sasuke was snorting though)

"Err…I mean, no, it's not a good idea. If you keep giving food to the cat, from what I've read before, the pet would turn disrespectful to you and demand food all the time, so it's better not." Naruto quickly amended.

"Yeah…maybe you're right. Oh! But I know a good solution! If you demand a trick before giving the prize to the pet, he'll get used that everything the owner will present has to be earned through. So, I think I'll do some tricks too. Hey, Jaguar, sit!"

The black head turned to seethe silently to the blond man.

"Yeah, Jaguar…sit." However, Naruto was cruelly wearing a very nasty grin instead, his arms crossed while he sat comfortably on the ground.

Grunting wordlessly, the cat sat near Ino and glanced, praying that whatever torture she's elaborating, it'd end soon.

"Hm…I think I want to see what kind of new tricks this cat knows! Hm…Jaguar, jump!"

At this very moment, the proud Uchiha was picturing a gruesome mirage filled with corpses (blond corpses), the main color would be red and there'd screams, yes, horrifying and bloody shrieks, moaning in excruciating pain.

"Well…Jaguar. Jump." The unholy glee coming from Sasuke's main target, increased the cat's bad mood to maim anything nearby.

He jumped effortlessly towards her hanged hand and received joyful claps in return. However, the nightmare still hadn't ended.

"Jaguar, how about spinning around? Spin!"

Sasuke briefly wondered if he was allowed to kill humans and escape as non-guilty in the court for the motive of defending his honor and pride as youkai.

"_Ah ha ha ha ha…oh my god, this is priceless, totally priceless…" _The image of a arrogant humanoid doing such things, instead of a cat in front of Naruto, burned into his mind and it was getting harder for the blond to stifle some chuckles.

"Eh? Maybe he didn't understand the command?" Ino mumbled, feeling a little bit confused. "I'm going to try again, Jaguar, spin!"

Suddenly, there was a wicked glint on the slit dark grey eyes and the cat jumped towards Naruto's lap, settling his petite body for a while.

"What the fuck?! Hey, get away from my legs, you ass—" When blue eyes met another sets of puzzled ones, he muttered. "Jaguar…"

And obeying tardily Ino's order, the furball made a tortuously slow spin around…with his claws at view, piercing painfully on the tanned flesh.

"Ow ow ow, hey, stop that you Bastard! Disobedient pet!" And the game of yanking was revisited again. Caramel hands kept pulling away the cat from his jeans, though Sasuke kept a firm ground, entangling his claws on the fabric.

"Oh…but that means that he likes you, Uzumaki-kun." Ino smiled broadly.

"What? How does ruining my favorite jeans and scratching my skin has anything to do with him liking me?!" Naruto growled.

"Because cats are territorial animals. When they like someone, they kept kneading and 'trying to make it soft' to show contentment towards them."

"…ooooooooh…reaaaaally?" Naruto stared with a mischievous grin to his pet.

"Yes. Isn't he so cute?" Ino fussed.

"Yeah…totally, tooootally cute. Not to mention _very 'very' _manly." Naruto patted the upside head of the cat with considerable strength than the necessary and curled a lopsided beam. "I guess this shows how he's such a needy bitch for me."

"_Mua ha ha ha. Ah ha ha ha ha ha!!!" _Naruto kept a long evil cackle inside his mind, unaware that his badly hidden laughing lines were bewildering even further his guests (and improving Sasuke's bad mood).

Enforcing his desires to give personal hell to the blond, the youkai climbed through Naruto's chest, feigning innocence and ignoring the growing protests around until he successfully held on Naruto's shoulder, a predatory smirk placed very next to the ear.

"Just you wait till all of your _lovely _guests are out of this place. I'll make each turn of your second become hellish **days.**" A dark whisper freezed his blood and Naruto involuntarily gulped dryly.

"Ahahahaha ha ha ha ha…Wellllll, jaguar, aren't you such a good, **good **cat? Since you're such an **obedient **and _nice _pet, maybe you should…you know, go take a walk or something." Naruto quickly detached his cat from his shoulder and plopped him to the ground.

"Oh no, you shouldn't do that!" Ino protested.

"_Why the hell not?!" _His body and his sanity are in peril, why should he care whatever will happen to that depraved cat?!

"Streets are dangerous to cats, not to mention people will mistaken him to a stray one. Don't let him outside of your house, really." Ino explained in patient detail.

"Well, we should go, since we're already finished the dinner and it's already late." Chouji continued.

Nooooooooooooooooooo…

"Errr…do you…really?" Naruto scratched lightly his sun-kissed cheek. "You can stay longer if you want." Or stay tonight. Stay forever here if you want, I don't care!

"Hm…too bad, but I have a morning shoot tomorrow." Ino smiled sweetly, feeling happy for her friend's appreciative actions.

"Yes, I have to prepare some sushis for tomorrow party too." Chouji spoke, while he looked at his wrist watch.

"Noooo…I mean, stay here and drink some tea!!" His pleading tone (and kicked-puppy eyes) flew past through his friends ears and they waved a farewell hand.

"See you tomorrow, Uzumaki-kun!" Ino spoke.

"See you next time!" Chouji ended, closing the door.

C-R-A-P.

The cat cleared up his throat. "Well…my owner. How about we call it a day and go to sleep now?" The youkai spoke with malicious undertones.

He's dead.

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Author notes: Oh god oh god…just thinking a cat doing normal chores, like reading newspaper or anything like that cracks me up…next chapter I want Sasuke making sushi! Can you imagine a black cat making SUSHI?! Making that acrobatic moves with the knife while he deftly cut the fish…(laughs)

So…you guys prefer that I'd explore the world I've created or I should interact the main characters for a while? What do you think?

(cough cough) is it just me or in the latest chapters all the panels it looked like Naruto is raping Pein? (laughs) Seriously, look at all the tackles! This is the proof that Naruto is seme! Not even Pein can top! (laughing)


	4. Paw 04

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Paw 04 – Meet the acquaintances

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"Noooooo...no no no no no no and no. We're…we're not going to sleep now." And the blond backed off a couple of steps just for a good measure. His usual healthy complexion was now taking a slight greenish color.

"But why not, my dear little owner? Isn't it time that we should reinforce our bonds between pet and his human friend?" Sasuke decided to morph to his human version and took other menacing steps forward to his prey. "After all, we didn't get to know each other the first days and we need to catch up the agenda."

Naruto's mouth opened and closed a few times out of sheer horror, before yelling desperately. "I don't remember in any part that I'd agreed about this! And in no way in hell you're a normal pet so...hey!" He jumped backwards trying to scamper away from the youkai. "Don't get closer you pervert!"

"Well...I've told you before that I absolutely will bring you suffering worse than physical pain...it's time to fulfill my words, don't you agree with me?" His wicked smirk drove another terrified gulp from the human and the latter was weighing his options of fleeing. "Remember that I'm 152 years old, I'm far more capable to predict your moves as well as I can reach you faster than you'd succeed on whatever you'll try to do."

Damn. He's correct about this. If their first encounter was proof enough to show the differences of strength. Then, Naruto laughed sheepishly. "Huh...so if I say a sorry or somethin', you'll be the nice guy and let me outta this hell?"

Sasuke snorted. "As if I'd forgive your foul mouth that sprout idiotic things every now and then." His lips hitched another sly smirk and he breezed out. "It's a good opportunity to show you a well deserved lesson then."

Long pondering seconds ticked between them until Naruto dashed to his bedroom and Sasuke followed behind.

Though the human promptly threw a kick towards the youkai's stomach. "Geeeet awaaaaaayy!!!!" Naruto screamed as Sasuke parried with ease and his fingers were moving to press at his vital points when Naruto used his captured foot as a leverage and used his another one to hit at Sasuke's chin efficiently.

"Hah! Take that teme!" As the youkai freed his limbs with a grunt, the blond landed safely at one side.

"_Hn. Not bad, his kicks are stronger than I expected. He'll be efficient against close range youkais." _Calculating, Sasuke approached swiftly once again against his target and prepared a hook. _"But how about this..."_

Naruto used one palm to block the incoming fist while his other hand, balled, prepared to punch away Sasuke's arm trajectory. However, Sasuke's hook feinted away and the temporarily ignored arm snaked around Naruto's balled hand and both of his hands reached at Naruto's shirt, throwing the body to the ground.

"_Clearly his upper body needs more work, his stances are too predictable." _Naruto quickly straightened himself from the ground before he swapped a low circular kick that Sasuke jumped away, however Naruto continued his move to hook his feet at Sasuke's neck, the latter parried with his upper arm, avoiding the critical hit. _"He's better in attacking rather than defensive or counter-attacking. Not good against youkais who have extra abilities in their limbs, like poisoning snakes or slippery amphibians."_

With a growl, the blond man readied the next stance of attack, though Sasuke was already bored about all this situation and contemplated. _"Well, analysis over, time to have my fun." _His left hand suddenly acquired long sharp nails and in a abrupt blur, he pinned Naruto to the ground, his right hand pushing the tanned neck down.

"Check...and mate." Naruto stared, much to his horror, long nails threatening closely to pull his eyeball out while a flash of arrogant smirk lodged a few centimeters afar.

What the hell had happened?! Just some moments before, he could almost read his opponent's pattern when out of the blue he was on the ground and this insufferable pervert had pinned him down. Naruto had the slight knack that he was just being played around by this Bastard youkai.

"Hey! Get offa me already, you asshole!" It didn't help on Naruto's mood when, instead of complying his wishes, Sasuke just quirked an eyebrow and snorted (in a magnanimous way,obviously) again. "Graaaaaaaaaaahhh..." He attempted to free himself while he squirmed around, his limbs trying to hit away the extra weight on his waist, though the youkai deflected all his hits easily.

"Really. You wouldn't want me to press your vital points and reenact our first encounter all over again right?" Sasuke showed his fingers as a from of emphasis and pointed at Naruto's shoulder blade.

"Guh...you're really a bastard! It's not fair if you can do those low petty tricks ya know!" The blond continued to struggle nevertheless.

"Stay still unless you want me to lose my patience and molest you in the end." As the tanned face paled at the implication, Sasuke muttered while his hand snaked inside the orange shirt to feel the hardening muscles. "You know well that I can do such things and you won't be able to stop me so don't provoke unnecessarily."

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gross, gross, Naruto wanted to cut off that offending hand touching his stomach. That frikkin perverted molester, how _dare _he strip his clothes without his permission! BLEARGH! The blond man blanched as he felt the callous and rough digits brushing his skin when he was used to feel smoother, slender feminine fingers exploring around. DISGUSTINNNG!!! EW! BLEH! And instead of cascades of soft hair tickling his chest and a flirty smile on sinuous lips, there was only (again) that smug smirk that Naruto was dying to crush it, smash all that irritating face or simply punch through it. Yes, actually, punch through it sounds such alluring idea that Naruto didn't understand why haven't he acted on it right now.

"DIE YOU ASSHOLE!" Briefly surprised towards the sudden violent move, Sasuke backed down to evade Naruto's fist while his right hand had to grab the fist to halt it. Using the opportunity that he was finally freed, Naruto tilted his neck few inches back until he unrestrainedly moved forward, headbutting his opponent, their skulls clashed so loudly that they swore that it cracked inside.

"Hah! Take that you pervert! Owwwww..." Naruto grumbled while he massaged his temples. "That's how I shove your stupid one hundred and what years of training into your ass! Fuck you!" He shouted victoriously, showing his middle finger to his foe. Sasuke felt all his veins popping out.

Alright. Screw being the nice and civilized youkai.

And again, Naruto only registered a blur in brief milliseconds until he felt his body sprawled to the ground, every cell wasn't obeying any kind of command from his brain. Sasuke yanked his orange shirt while he hissed:

"Dumbass, that fucking hurt you demented idiot! Ugh…" The brunet also rubbed his forehead tenderly as a red spot marred his pale complexion. "Guess that your thick moronic skull must have some kind of usefulness at least in this department."

"Why you...!" Naruto gritted his teeth before shooting loads of curses. "Son of a bitch, frikkin fucker fucka you demented pervert gay man-whore asshole..." Sasuke slowly tuned out the nagging voice booming through the entire house.

Aaaaaah...he's having a headache. His tympanums were starting to throb painfully and that stupid human still continued relentlessly to yell in unbearable deafening levels, all his screeching being more excruciating than a needle piercing in his ear.

"Crazy bastard molester faggot..."

"Shut up!" Sasuke promptly shoved his palm on the rapidly movable mouth and sighed satisfied from the muffed grumbles he received. "Much better."

"Mfffuck u!" Naruto growled while he attempted in vain to move his numb limbs again.

The youkai smirked at his victim's struggle. Ah...here's the look he craved for. Even in obvious disadvantage and cornered to a dead end, electric blue eyes still glared with defiance, fearless. Not even the Uchiha advisors ever dared to use that kind of expression against him. All youkais revered him, admired him but no one ever knew him.

To see someone treat him with raw sincerity…even though his face currently resides great wariness and mistrust. For now.

His wicked trail of thoughts were interrupted when Naruto chomped hard his palm.

"You...!" Sasuke shook his wrist to relieve the painful bite while the unharmed hand returned to his task. "Are you crazy?!" If he didn't check that Naruto was human, he'd be suspicious that he was just being gnawed by a rabid youkai dog. This kind of strength on the bite just _can't _be natural.

Naruto tried one more time to bite off the offending hand, though Sasuke backed off in time.

"God, it was annoying with your disgusting hand in my mouth you lecher!" The blond groaned.

"That's because you're an annoying blabber, you idiot!"

"Well, fuck you! So the all so powerful youkai is a bitch in PMS, surely it's not _my _problem! I'll say whatever come up to my mouth, asshole! Blaaaaaaaa!!!!!" Naruto open-mouthed blew his tongue as he resumed with his increase amounting of decibels. "Blaaaaa, bla bla bla bla blaaaaa bla bl – whatthehellareyoudoingtomyshirt?!?!?!?!" The blond squeaked a little bit panicked.

"So finally caught your attention?" Sasuke gathered a good portion of fabric with the tip of his fingers and enjoyed how his nails were tearing them apart. "Have to inform you that my nails are sharper than any kind of sword existed and more resistant than metal."

Naruto scoffed. "Well, I guess that's what you get when you have nothing to do besides going everyday to manicu–"

"So you want to personally testify if my nails are a valid weapon to be utilized instead for the sake of aesthetics, like you've wanting to claim about it before...?" This time, a lazy finger slowly made a beeline through the tanned chest until it rested on Naruto's throat.

A jet black eyebrow was raised. Golden ones were furrowed into a seething glare as if daring Sasuke to act upon it.

"So, let's start ripping apart those horrible eyesores that you call as 'orange t-shirt'." The youkai spoke nonchalantly.

"Nonononononononono, wait!" Naruto finally said desperately.

Hey, one thing is losing your life honorably, but another is to lose your pride as a man!

"Alright, alright! Whatever, I surrender! Truce! White flag! Happy now?!" The human blabbered and Sasuke chuckled on how _easy _he could manipulate his 'owner' to his advantage.

"Hn. If you say so." The youkai quickly pressed the correct points again and Naruto's numb cells were refreshed again, like currents streaming in his veins. The blond man gingerly massaged his arms with a scowl lodged on his face.

This feeling again. Just when Naruto was sure that he could detest that youkai in front of him, Sasuke always backed down just in time so Naruto couldn't _entirely _hate him.

"_So maybe all the perverted taunts are some kind of joke…probably."_ He scratched the back of his head while he propelled himself up. _"He does keeps provoking me all the time but he had never passed the limit of my discomfort."_

Then, cerulean eyes blinked horrifyingly wide. _"What the fuck?! That sounds like some kind of cat that traps around the mouse with his paws and keeps poking and playing the victim just for the sake of sadist pleasure! The asshole!" _Naruto then, glared at the retreating back. _"I'll never let 'im!"_

"…of surrender." Naruto could only heard the last words from Sasuke.

"What?" The blond reacted guardedly.

"I said, what will be your terms of surrender. After all, I won the battle." The youkai curled again another set of arrogant smirk.

"No way in hell! Who said that I'd do such thing?!"

"You said it." Before Naruto could open his mouth to protest, Sasuke continued. "And I quote, 'I surrender. Truce. White flag. Happy now?'" Well yes, definitely happy. Oh, the possibilities.

"You manipulative ass–"

"You lost, I won, I want to indulge myself from the spoils of war." And Sasuke could practically hear the gears of thoughts running inside Naruto's brain.

After some subsequent minutes of suspicious glares, the blond relented. "Alright, whatever. Just this once!" Naruto pointed accusingly before Sasuke's lips couldn't get any wider. "What the hell do you want from me?!"

Weeeelll… "Let's sleep together." Another copyrighted Uchiha smirk.

"No." The human immediately answered.

"You asked, you lost, I w–"

"Fuck you, lecher, I'm not agreeing with that!"

"I'll behave." And Sasuke had managed to muster the perfect 'guiltless' expression, though it was killed from the mirth dancing in his eyes.

"As if I'd believe in you!" Naruto rebutted.

"I'll even use my cat form, how about that?" Sasuke suggested.

"Fuck n–" Though Naruto paused to reflect upon it. Surely it wouldn't be any problem if he slept with the animal form right? He'll just ignore for a couple of hours that he's sleeping with an perverted mongrel youkai and everything will be fine. Not to mention that it's impossible that Sasuke could molest him in his cat form, right...? Right??

Right. Probably.

"Whatever, just this night then." He cocked his golden head in the direction of his bedroom while he watched the humanoid form shrink and turn into a black cat.

"Hn." The animal promptly entered inside and settled in a spot on his bed. Watching the black fur, all curled together forming a fluffy ball could _almost _fool Naruto that his pet was merely an innocent cat for an instant.

For some brief, short instants, obviously. Naruto glared once again, just for a good measure at his pet, before opening his mouth wide to a indolent yawn and lied on his bed.

Hopefully nothing out of ordinary will happen throughout this night.

This wish had promptly flew past through the window when a shout echoed in the neighborhood.

"HEY! NO NORMAL CAT WOULD SLEEP RIGHT ABOVE ON SOMEONE'S BUTT YOU PERVERT!"

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Tired. Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiireeeeeeeeeeed...Exhausted. Worn out. Fatigued. Spent. Tiiiiiiired. Drained. Burnt-out. Tired. Bleary-eyed. Tired. Dead. Did he say tired again?

"Stop being the melodramatic idiot and eat the breakfast, dumbass." And the current center of all his tragedies sat in front of him while he ate languidly another piece of toast.

Still undecided with which action he should choose (maul him with fists or slash him with his kitchen knife?) Naruto settled to seethe silently at his (supposedly) pet and propped loudly at his seat wearing a fuming pout. With a simple fling of his fingertips, the youkai passed smoothly the full steaming coffee cup to his owner while his onyx eyes continued to read the newspaper. Breathing contently the enticing smell and savored the whole warm liquid with avid gulps. He didn't have a wink of sleep due to the perverted molester of a cat last night and hell, he's going to properly relish Sasuke's wonderful talents on culinary field to his gain.

"Make some of those noises while you're drinking or eating and I'll really pounce on you someday." A monotone voice quickly halted his indulging moments and a cold weight settled on Naruto's stomach.

"Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeergh! Cof cof..." He barely chunked down the rest of the liquid. "Stop saying those gross things you asshole! This is disgusting!" Naruto coughed some more, his hand fisting on his chest.

"Indeed. This nasty dribble coming from your mouth it's unsightly." Sasuke sniffed with a akin of snobbish attitude in response.

"I'm saying that your nasty words are disgusting you Bastard!"

"So you're saying that I should skip the voicing preliminaries and act accordingly, without the need of asking you before?"

"What?!" Naruto narrowed his eyes confused.

"What I've said long before is a warning that I have graciously provided for your advantage. Though through your statement, it seems that you would prefer me motion without bothering with the impending guilt of consciousness."

"No, I didn't say anything like that you crazy jerk! I only said that I hate your perverted words, never said that you're allowed to do whatever you want from me without warning me!"

"Oh." Another smirk. "I see." Naruto tensed when he saw onyx eyes glinting in amusement. "That means that it is an obligation to court you whenever I want something from you?"

"No! I've never said –" Naruto paused in aggravation before throwing his hands to the air. "Aaaargh! I've must be out of mind when I accepted to let you live with me!!"

"You probably had agree because you're mystified by my outstanding, distinguishable and exquisite fine characteristics of being a powerful youkai." Sasuke replied coolly while his chin lifted sightly to emphasize his air of superiority.

Though Naruto only snorted in return. "Bastard. You're not a powerful or impressive youkai, you're just a bothersome **pet**." The blond finally grinned victoriously when he felt a glare shotting on his direction.

They would continue that spattering when someone politely rang the bell and waited for response. Naruto opened the door and was meet with the timid presence of his neighbor, the young brunette lifting slightly her hands to show a dish containing fragrant food.

"Huh…" Hinata blushed crimson red and whispered. "U-u-uzumaki-k-kun...eh...huh...I've m-made too much...y-you want it?"

"Really?! It's kinpira!!!" Naruto readily accepted it and fawned over he plate. "Awww...I'm so happy! I've always liked your dishes Hyuuga-chan, they're delicious! They have this homely sensation whenever I eat one of those, you know! You really don't need to treat so well an orphan like me...!" He brightly smiled that, even though Hinata's blush didn't recede, she returned his compliment with a shy tilt of lips on her own.

"O-oh no...I-I'm ha-happy th-that you liked those...I-I'll make sure th-that I'll always gi-give some portion to you wh-whenever I co-cook too much for me..."

"Really? Thanks! You're such a nice girl, Hyuuga-chan!" And Naruto was extremely happy that he had such kind neighbor like Hinata. It's not everyday that he met such gentle friend, his previous neighbors sadly never shared such things with him.

Both of them continued to smile warmly inside the pleasant atmosphere, when suddenly Hinata gave a small surprised gasp, that bewildered Naruto for a couple of seconds. However, a dreary foreboding slowly began to crawl through his veins until it was permanently lodged on his stomach and he didn't dared to turn his head around, already fearing for the worst.

"Why…hello." There, stood with nothing less but a clad in jeans, riding low on his waist, a smug Sasuke placed closely behind Naruto, one arm propped comfortably on the door frame. "Am I interrupting something?"

And Naruto thanked all gods that his neighbor was a blind girl. Because poor Hinata, with her good upbringings and all sorts, would probably faint on the spot at the sight. What the hell is this crazy youkai is thinking for wearing so less (the button of his pants were even undone dammit!) in front of a respectable and conservative young woman?!

"Huh...Um...U-uzumaki-kun...c-could it be th-that this man in-inside your house is y-your g-guest? I-I didn't want to interru-rupt..." She stuttered shyly.

Just when Naruto was opening his mouth to give a reasonable explanation, Sasuke moved even closer to the crook of his tanned neck while one arm was snaking around his waist and hissed huskily. "I'm definitely not his guest. I'm living with him."

"Huh...huh...? What do-do y-you mean..."

Sasuke chuckled darkly before giving a long, slow lick through all the expanse of the sun-kissed cheek as he reinforced his stranglehold possessively on the body. "Oh? But Naruto didn't tell you about this?" Too bad Naruto was too shocked to properly respond the molesting. "I'm…" Sasuke nibbled unhurriedly the ear shell as he finished with a _very_ loud sucking sound on the earlobe and smirked. "His **pet**."

The blond was torn apart between draining all his color of his face from Sasuke's blatant assault or blush madly at the spoken implications, so since both opposites clashed, he still resumed with his normal, but shocked complexion. Although it didn't help in any wonder when Hinata was clearly flushing from Sasuke's blunt innuendos as the youkai felt satisfied with his accomplishments against her.

"Now, we've tight schedules to be filled, minutes to be earned and actions to be accomplished. We're, you know, going to do the usual things when you have a pet…playing tag, tackling, wrestling, grabbing **balls**…have a good day." At last, Sasuke pulled his owner out of reach and unrestrainedly closed the door in front of Hinata.

That was Naruto's cue to finally realize in what kind of nightmare he was inserted in.

"_I'm going to __**kill **__this bastard!" _His resolve was already boosted with a pair of hands trying to reach the ivory neck.

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"Get back here! Just come back so I can squeeze the life out of your goddamn neck, you asshole!" Naruto ran after the slippery youkai as the latter succeeded to extract himself from the blond's murdering intentions and was nonchalantly evading all the blows.

"What? Did I do anything wrong? I was just introducing myself to all neighborhood, like all good and obedient pets. I can't believe that you're unsatisfied with my willful acts of generosity that I displayed so nicely."

"Nice? NICE?! You crazy asshole, you appeared half-naked to poor Hyuuga-chan! Luckily she's blind or you'd have traumatized the poor girl you jerk!"

Hm, too bad. It lessened the original effect Sasuke planned.

"Now she's thinking that I must be some kind of mentally unstable pervert that has strange kinks around!"

Well, as long as everybody knows that this idiot definitely was _his._

"Stop running around so I can properly maul you, Bastard!" Naruto aimed another punch though Sasuke evaded on time and the blond ended up hitting some of the furniture, as they were beginning to fall and sprawl around chaotically on the ground.

"Get back here! I can't believe you did this you son of a bitch! God, I won't be able to look on her eyes the next time I meet Hyuuga-chan."

Jealousy flew swiftly on Sasuke's mind. "What? You'd mind her opinion about you?"

"Of course I do!" Naruto replied, not noticing the darkening aura of the youkai. "She's such a nice girl, giving me leftover foods. She's very nice to someone she barely knows."

Sasuke snorted, he had almost forgotten his victim's idiocy and his obliviousness ticks. "Moron, what are you, a scavenger? You'd eat whatever they throw in your mouth?"

"My motto is to never refuse any kind of offer to fill my stomach. You should never waste food recklessly!" Naruto declared proudly.

So he's not denying the scavenger part. "Idiot."

"Fuck you Bastard!" Now just let me rip apart your limbs and turn you into a mass of flesh and gore! "I can't believe that you said those disgusting things to her! You've ruined my life!"

"But I didn't say anything out of truth. We are living together, aren't we?" Sasuke calmly said.

"Ugh." Naruto only grunted.

"And you said yourself. That I'm your **p-e-t**." The youkai remarked by spelling syllable per syllable the last word.

"Yeah, I said it, but you didn't need to sound it so wrongly like that!"

"The fact that I'm your _pet_?" Sasuke was clearly amused over all this situation.

"Don't say that again!" Naruto wailed.

"You're the one who started all that..." And that damned to hell of smirk was back again.

Guh! No, he's not going to loose it. He's not going to fall for that trap and ignore casually all that stupid taunts.

"So, do you prefer chokers with spikes and leather or just the standard one? Never thought that you're so kinky."

And Naruto moved with a battle cry. He quickly used a high flying kick towards his opponent though Sasuke smoothly returned to be a cat in this precise moment, evading the attack.

"Hey! That's cheating, you bastard!" Naruto stomped after the animal, trying to yank some tufts of black fur and pull all them away until the cat gets ready to be skinned, thrown inside a hot oven and toasted for thanksgiving.

To his growing frustration, since Sasuke settled with a smaller form and his smooth fur were more slippery to grab instead of bare skin, not to mention that cats were more agile than human, Naruto wasn't having some good outcomes on the chasing.

"Damn you! Turn back into a human so I can catch you!" Naruto growled.

"So that's the game for this week, catch and chase? Next week will be owner with his leather leash on the pet? Oh, we're already playing this kink." The cat chuckled in response, while he cowered below the Japanese style of low table.

"Wait until I get my hands on you, you jer–" Naruto also crawled inside, his arms trying to reach the youkai as Sasuke settled from afar to observe with glee his owner's struggle.

That was until the blond realized that he could no longer move forward from his spot. Couple of grunting later, he also noticed that he couldn't return back away from the table and stayed rooted on the ground, completely flabbergasted.

"What? Don't tell me...you're stuck?" The black cat quirked a bewildered eyebrow. If cats were capable to quirk an eyebrow. Wait. Cats have eyebrows?

Naruto didn't waste his energy answering the sardonic tone, he just groaned frustrated.

"Idiot." Sasuke snorted. The 'cozy' compliment obviously made the human snap sharply back.

"Shut up you Bastard! You're the one who started it all! If you weren't such an asshole, I wouldn't waste my time trying to kick your sorry ass and now I wouldn't get worried that I'm getting late for work, Jerk! This is all your fault!"

"You're the one who's capable to be stupidly goofy in your own house. You're really a total clumsy dumbass (usuratonkachi)."

"What! Asshole, don't call me with those weird na–" Naruto protested readily, tilting his head forward to glare at the youkai. However, such action made him bump on the table unexpectedly, as he moaned from pain. "Ow..."

Sasuke snorted again. "See. Usuratonkachi."

"I said, don't call me usuratonkachi, you bastard!"

The cat seemed to be pondering about this whole situation for a second or so, placing his tiny paw on his chin before hitching a very devious smirk and smoothly replied. "No. I think that usuratonkachi illustrates your nature very well. I'll stick with this name."

"Gaaaaaaaah!!!" Naruto wiggled around in a second attempt to free himself and grab that embodiment of pure sarcasm and shake it for a while. A few struggles more and Sasuke interrupted gleefully.

"Did you know that your current trapped position is very advantageous of my part?" He said while he sauntered in languid sways to the exit. "It means that I can freely touch you and molest you without any disruption. Actually, makes me wonder why haven't I acted upon it at the chance given."

"Wh–wha…" Naruto paled as he saw where the cat was going to. "what the fuck are you doing?!" He almost squawked when he felt slow strokes on butt.

"Testing." Sauke answered innocently.

"Testing what, you fucking son of a bitch crazy perv?!" Naruto protested.

"Testing the efficiency of traction and the good inflate of cushion if ones get impacted at it." As adding to his statement, the pet climbed to the upside of Naruto's body and rested on it.

"What the fuck do you thing I am, an airbag?! Get the hell offa my ass!" At the obvious silent answer from his pet, Naruto finally used a counterattack moving his body upwards and sandwiching the black cat. "Hah! Die you bastard!" Hopefully that perverted youkai would die from asphyxiation, for all he cared.

Sasuke didn't complain too much about the situation he was thrown in, because, well, he was delightedly squished closely to _very _warm and soft amends of flesh...But obviously, only for the sake of mocking the idiot, he purred.

"You do realize that I'm capable in turning into a humanoid right?" Sasuke didn't wait for the bewildered pause that he knew it was stamped on the azure eyes and continued. "And you do realize that once I turn into a humanoid, at the moment that I'll shift into a bigger body, the one which will suffer the repercussions directly will be your table, _specifically _the glass that is right above us, right? And again...how much did it cost this piece of furnit–"

"Don't you dare! Don't you even try to do such thing you asshole!"

"_This isn't happening to me. This is a fucking nightmare!!!" _Naruto groaned, while he was still entrapped from below his table.

"So I convinced you then? So back down. No actually, stay still. I like the current position of being nicely treated by you." Sasuke purred while he gave some healthy pat pat on Naruto's backside.

"Fuck you, perv!" At last, his legs were freed to the outside and it was only a question to the rest of his body going with it.

Without wasting a second, the human grabbed Sasuke's tail though the latter slipped through.

"Damn it! Let me kill you now, asshole!" Naruto tried to capture again, though he ended up slapping away his cup, that fell loudly on the ground.

Sasuke was snaking smoothly in between the spaces of dishes, however, his owner wasn't doing the same good job of evading them. A few shards of broken glasses and porcelain were the sign of a tragedy that will befall on every object of the house that unfortunately were thrown in between the crazy fight between two idiotic people.

Black blur jumped to the sink and ducked the tanned hand that ended up pushing the full bottle down, gurgling sounds of milk falling dripped at the kitchen.

"Aaaah! Look what you've done!"

Petit paws landed gracefully to the ground and enraged feet followed after, stepping on the puddles of white liquid and making a trail on the entire tiles of the room. The cat propelled briefly at the chair before using as a leverage to jump higher at the cabinet. Unfortunately, Naruto tried to catch his cat at the chair and made the furniture fall loudly on the ground.

"Ah! Fuck!"

The cabinet also contained several plates of more expensive value, though the failed attempts of catching and grabbing disorganized one bowl here, cracked a piece there and broke other things too.

Sasuke finally exited the kitchen, went to the living room. Another catastrophe. So far the telephone was disarranged on the ground, photo frames also had their glasses broken, magazines were flying freely around, some pages were ripped apart.

The cat sauntered behind the mini system, believing that Naruto would be more cautious about pursuing him, though to his dismayed surprise, the human chose to throw away his common sense and finally grasped his tail as another gadget broke to the ground.

"Gotcha!" Naruto shouted victoriously, his other hand already beginning to repay all his humiliation with vengeance. "Now you'll fucking suffer on my hands!"

Yank, slap, pushing the cat ears. The pet tried to struggle back.

"Hey! Grabbing someone's tail is a very low blow!" The youkai complained.

"Like I fucking care!" His owner rebutted.

Biting the tanned arm. Pinching the triangular nose. Yanking the whiskers.

"It fucking hurts, usuratonkachi!"

"I said, STOP calling me with this name, TEME!"

Scratching the hand. Grabbing the petite body as he pulled even further the long tail. Scratching _and _biting the imprisoning arm.

Howls. "OWWW!"

Berserk. "Hisssssss!!!!"

A several combos followed by the combination of half-crescent moon forward plus A and B (huh?) that made the youkai claws viciously on the tanned face before landing in a safety place, his defenses were guarded up as the body arched menacingly, all the black fur were straightened up, glaring at his foe.

"What the..." Cerulean eyes were moving to glower back when he noticed. "What the...?! Your eyes are red now!"

Sasuke immediately calmed down, noticing that he triggered the special ability on his eyes. "Ah. Didn't notice that I've activated the Sharingan."

"Ewww, your eyes returned to the gray color now! It's so weird, so creepy!"

"What's so creepy about this?" Sasuke showed his reddened iris again to Naruto.

"It's too creepy! Ewww, it has the color of blood! And wait..." Naruto approached himself to capture some details. "You have some comma drew in your eyes! Gross!"

"These things?" The black tomoes made a slow spin around. The blond man looked like he was going to be traumatized for life.

"SO GROSS!!!!!YOU'RE NOT A NORMAL CA–" Then Narto caught himself from his realization. "Wait, you're really not a normal cat, why the fuck did I say something like that...?"

He wondered while Sasuke hitched another lazy eyebrow in response.

"ARGH! I'm going insane!" And Naruto finally realized the actual time on the clock. "And I'm fucking late! It's all your fault you crazy asshole!" He quickly flew inside the bedroom to catch his things in high speed while Sasuke returned to his humanoid form.

"And you!" Naruto poked unrestrainedly at the ivory chest. "Stop wearing those horrible things and wear some clothes instead of parading half-naked, pervert!"

"..." Now that the youkai had attained human features, it intensified his sarcastic expression. "Hn." The brunet grunted while he crossed his arms.

Is that a yes or is that a no?! "And another thing! I want this entire house cleaned by the end of the day! Take it as a good task to relieve from boredom that you probably have everyday."

"Oh? But I prefer playing yarn, balls and waiting for my _owner _to return like all good **pets **should do, usuratonkachi."

"Don't call me –" Naruto noticed that they were entering again into a pointless detour. "I don't have the time to your crazy talk. Just clean this stuff, ya hear me?! I'm off!" He loudly banged the door in front of his pet. Sasuke snorted.

At least the stupid moron have forgotten Hinata's kinpira somewhere in this chaos. Finding at last the culprit of all the morning battle, the youkai glared at the apparent innocuous dish and took a bite.

He grimaced at the pleasant flavor that melted through all inside of his mouth. _"Damn that bitch can cook well." _

He couldn't believe that he didn't calculate such possibility. Sasuke was sure that every model inside the agency Naruto worked were either already compromised, either wouldn't make any move to the photographer. And the one who could well...they were _kindly _dispatched to another place.

Though however, Sasuke wasn't expecting that he would face such threatening menace close at home. Well, Naruto's obliviousness helped to his side at this time, but Sasuke were already scheming some safeguards in any case that _the _bitch would try her move.

"_What a cliché strategy. Baiting the idiot by feeding his stomach. As if the dumbass would fall for that."_

All his dark, bloodied planning took a sudden halt when he realized a **very **familiar chi. He sighed, already walking towards the door. In this exact moment, the doorbell chimed politely and the brunet had no choice but to open the door and welcome the guest.

"Hello Sasuke-kun!" Beamed a singsong voice.

Sasuke cringed. Here comes the babysitter.

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AN: people...please forgive me...writing Sasuke and Naruto fighting is sooooooo addicting...damn. XD I was laughing while I was writing the first part and I sighed "dreamily": oh...such profound and sweet love...XD


	5. Paw 05

AN: Yoh, I'm not dead peoplez!!!! :D (just extremely tired...)

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Paw 05 – The terms

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"Good Morning Uzumaki-kun!" Ino chirped, already offering some water to the gasping blond man.

Naruto took some minutes to recharge his lungs before accepting the offer, swallowing in big gulps. "Boss…is not here yet, right?"

"Nope." Ino shook her head. "It's rare that you'd arrive so late in such important shoots. What happened?"

Naruto groaned. Then, he mumbled. "Had to take care of a moody kit…"

Ino laughed.

"What! Laughing at my expense will ya!" Naruto nudged slightly in mock annoyance. "Can't you sympathize with my suffering?!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry…hehehe, poor Uzumaki-kun…" She patted his unruly hair. "Congratulations. Now you've entered in the sacred world of pethood. What did Jaguar do today?"

"Decided to be the little imp. I had to chase him around and he broke tons of things of my house!!!" Naruto cringed inside. How the hell he's going to pay all replacement objects from now on? He guessed he'd have to postpone his travel to Europe _again._

"Oh…I bet because he decided to explore the house, running around expensive trinkets and all sorts." Ino thoughtfully answered.

"Errr…" Naruto wasn't in the mood to retort that the youkai actually was getting punished from molesting him.

Ino chuckled. "You still have a long path in learning how to take care of a cat, there's still tons of other things that will make you grow white hair. Like…scratching all your furniture. Or when he starts sleeping in very inconvenient places and you can't find him anywhere. Or when he rips all the toilet paper into shreds."

"_Or when he starts groping you everywhere before you can react on time…" _Naruto thought broodingly.

"But anyways, you must have scared him off, the poor cat. Be gentler to him!"

"What?! No way I'd want to be gentler to that asshole!" Naruto immediately blurted out.

"Whoa…what did he destroy for you to dislike him that much?" Ino quirked a perplexed eyebrow.

"No! He well…" Now that's a complicated story that Naruto didn't want to talk about it so fast. Plus, is he allowed to blurt out about Youkais and their predicaments to anyone? But knowing how much his cat has kept such secrecy, maybe not. Naruto cleared his throat. "Couple of newly bought plates, my breakfast, some photo frames, my stereo system…my new stereo systeeeemmm…" Damn that Bastard!

"Oh, c'mon, stop being the crying baby, fool." Ino roughly slapped his back in response. "Those things are bound to happen when you have a pet. Next time remember to put the expensive and valuable items in a secure place where you know that Jaguar won't reach it." She narrowed her baby blue eyes. "You're not regretting adopting this cat by now right…?"

"No…guess not." Naruto frowned. "But I kept saying to that jerk to stop moving around and he just wouldn't listen!"

Ino laughed good-heartedly. "It's not like humans and pets are capable to understand each other anyways. Too bad huh?"

Oh, if only she would know.

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"Sasuke-kun? You're not going to invite me in? The 'Human interactions' guide said that the lord of the castle should first allow his visitors to enter or else it'll sound like I'm invading your sacred hideout." A pink-haired woman recited while her eyes were focused on a book.

"…" Sasuke quirked an eyebrow. And tried to shove the door on her face.

"Why……Sasuke-kunnnn…" She grabbed it bare-handed and squeezed until splinters flew around. "Aren't you going to be the _nice_ host this time and invite me in unless you want me to maul your pretty face????"

Few tense moments of battle auras exchanging, Sasuke glared as hard as he could while the girl pressed the door with guts.

"…" He released his hand and moved aside.

"Thanks!" Her face suddenly acquired a cherry smile. "Now now, it wasn't that difficult, was it, Sasuke-chan?" She chirped haughtily. "Wow…what's this?" She commented from all the chaos thrown inside. "Is it some kind of fashion decoration that it's not included in this guide? I knew that this thing is outdated."

"No…I had a small discussion with that usuratonkachi, that's all."

The girl snorted at the 'small' implication. "Well, here it is, all the work you have to do today." She offered some stack of papers which Sasuke wordlessly accepted.

"Sakura." The brunet muttered.

"Wha?" The woman in question tried to decipher the ever so mysterious Uchiha grunting vocabulary. "Oh? Clean this place up? Fine, I'll call some servant youkais." She rolled her emerald eyes.

"Hn." Sasuke nodded slightly.

"Where's Uzumaki Naruto then? I'm here just to meet him properly this time. I wanted to know what kind of charm he has to snatch my asexual Sasuke-chan." Sakura picked up a nearby chair to accommodate herself.

"He's working now, give up. I don't want to see him being inspected like some kind of experiment rat."

"Fooey. You're such a spoil sport. I'm also worried about him. Once rogue-youkais come to know that an Uchiha is here, they'll retaliate and Uzumaki will be their main target. You do know that the gang leader's of this area is someone called Hozuki Suigetsu, right?"

"Hn." Sasuke shrugged.

"Oh for god sa—At least make a worried expression instead of grunting around!" Sakura threw her arms to the air.

"I've already made the necessary precautions, I'm not careless. There are two youkais who are following him and in any case, I'll give a jewel embedded with my chi."

"Hm. As expected from the Uchiha genius, I guess." His friend snorted in response.

"I didn't idly select him out of nowhere." His movements paused in compassed ponder before he continued. "Also, he possess a chi slightly stronger than a normal human. He's trainable. Not to mention that he's indeed experienced in Kung Fu like I've read in his report."

"Oh? That's good news then. Tachi-nii was getting worried about throwing you into an unknown house with a random stranger." She brought the tea cup to her lips at the pursuing lips of her friend. "I said that he shouldn't worry about it if you're the one who jumped into this decision out of nowhere."

"It wasn't, that's for sure."

"I guess." Sakura sighed for some brief seconds and whispered. "You could enter in contact with Tachi-nii, just to reassure him. He thinks that it was his fault that you've done this."

"He shouldn't feel like that. I've just done the best decision beneficial to aniki." The dark-haired youkai grunted back.

"Was it…?" She shook her head with a painful smile. "You're still too young."

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow. "We have the same age, Sakura."

"Call it women intuition then." She raised her chin as magnanimously as she could be, inciting a soft snort from Sasuke.

He changed the subject. "Sakura, I also want to know about all information regarding the Uzumaki's neighbor next door."

She blinked twice. "You already investigated about this before, didn't you?"

"Yes, but the reports given don't match with the description met. If possible, I would want if Kakashi-sensei could do this assignment, there's something that I want to confirm."

"Hm…" She contemplated once though her face contorted into a grimacing expression. "I'm sorry, it'd be better if I give to someone else. Kakashi-sensei said that he found more clues about _that person_…he's on its tail."

"I see…" An uncomfortable silence reigned in the room until Sasuke restarted. "Then, pick whoever you want, as long as he's reliable."

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Oh, how he loooonged for a comfy shower, bathtub filled with warm fragrant water and having Ramen for dinner. Yes, Ramen. Raaaaaaaaaameeeeeeeennnnnnn…the sublime nectar of gods, the indescribable texture that—

"_But first I'll have to do the laundry, organize my refrigerator to see if I need to buy anything, clean up my PC because he's getting slower lately, argh…did I forget something else?"_ Naruto mused while he fumbled to find his key.

Suddenly, an image of a fluffy black ball with glaring eyes stamped on his mind and he didn't bother to contain an aggravated sigh. _"I really hope that he had cleaned up my house because if he didn't, black furs are going to fly all away…"_ Naruto thought darkly, finding his keys and getting ready to meet the possible impending disaster.

A startled gasp got Naruto's attention as he turned around to meet his kind but albeit shy neighbor. "Hello Hyuuga-chan!"

"Y-Yes…hello. I…I—" She forced a brightened smile. "Back from work?"

"Yeah…a drag, I'm tiiiiired…" Naruto gave another exhausted puff, clattering of keys shocking with the wooden door. "I can't wait till I find my relaxing time, watch TV and eat Ramen…if only my keys were cooperative enough with me…"

Hinata giggled. "Too many, I guess."

"Hm."

"Eh…" She idly played with her dark locks. "Ta-ta-taking c-care of your p-p-p-p-p-pet to-too?" Hinata muttered while she played with her index fingers.

Naruto's tanned fingers instinctively tightened around his keys.

"_GODDAMN THAT SON OF A YOUKAI, THAT BASTARD OF AN ASSHOLE, THAT MANIPULATIVE AND FOUL MOUTHED JERK CREATOR OF DISASTERS AND SCHEMING FUCKER, I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL HIM!!!!!!!!!"_

"Ah…you see, Hyuuga-chan." The blond man tried to rein his rage. "That, to tell the truth, he's my new roommate, since the rent here is getting a little bit expensive lately."

"Oh…really? That's horrible!" She delicately cupped one hand to her face in sympathy.

"Yeah…horrible." Added that he'll have to spend _more _money on replacing the broken things, heavens couldn't be any more sarcastic to his life. "So anyways, he just made a joke, don't take seriously what he had said."

"Okay…oh m-maybe I sh-should l-l-leave more food in any case I sh-share more with you. He d-does seems to be a n-nice boy…" Hinata paused to catch some air and breathed out. "What is it his name?"

Crap. What was his name again? The bastard youkai did mention before, but he only said once. Plus Naruto never was someone who could remember well about people's name.

"_Uchi…Ocha…nah. Wait."_ One corner of his lips twitched down. _"His name though…Sasu…ko! Nah, too girlish. Saku…Samu…Sa…"_

"Uchiwa Samu…i." Now that's a very weird name. The Fan that's feeling Cold?Some people really don't have good tastes on choosing names.

"I see…" Hinata smiled sweetly. "W-well, I shouldn't b-bother you any longer. See you tomorrow, Uzumaki-kun." She opened her own door and bid farewell.

It was only when she was securely inside her haven Hinata muttered. "Uchiha Sasuke, right…"

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"I'm hoooomeeeee…you bastard, better had cleaned up the whole place or I will fucking ki…" His wide blue eyes stared in astonishment at the impeccable living room. "Huh?"

"Hn." The black cat greeted him while he quietly sat behind the table.

"You…wow…" Everything was thoroughly organized, there wasn't any object that was off-place. No wait. "Hey…I'm pretty sure that I didn't use to have such stylish photo frame…you bought new ones?" The blond picked up the object in question and looked at his pet.

"Hn." Sasuke just shrugged apathetically.

"I'm happy that you liked my decisions in decoration! You know, the one you're holding right now is my favorite!" A cheerful voice declared behind his back out of nowhere and Naruto reacted instantaneously.

"AAAAAAH!!! Who are—mmph!!!" One swift hand covered up his mouth before he could shout obscenities as a mischievous smile tugged on her lips.

"Hm…he can't keep his mouth shut huh? You like loud types, Sasuke-kun?" A flash of brilliant pink color and a mischievous beam reveled behind him as Naruto pried himself from her.

Luckily the blond remember. "Wait…you're the caretaker."

"Yep! My name is Haruno Sakura, pleased to meet you!" She offered her hand and Naruto shook it, slightly wary.

"So you're his friend?"

She nodded as she offered raw fish to the cat. "This salmon is fine for you?"

The petit animal stared at the food before lifting a paw to brush on it and tasted it with a lick.

"Ew!!!Why are you touching this anyways as a cat?! Lord knows where those paws have been through before touching my food!" Naruto protested.

"Obviously I washed them before usuratonkachi." The youkai snorted.

"Don't call me usuratonkachi, Bastard!" The human snapped back. "And even so, do you think I'd want to eat something that have gruesome fur on it?! No way!"

"I wouldn't be so clumsy unlike you, usuratonkachi." Sasuke ignored another frustrated groan coming from his owner and continued. "I had to stay in my animal form because cat's palate is more sensitive than human." He lifted his paw and suddenly his claws elongated. "Not to mention that I prefer using my abilities in this way." The black feline swapped from one side to other and suddenly the fish had shed the skin cleanly, another swap and the food was cut in symmetrical cubes.

Naruto only observed the weird show in horrified fascination as a _cat,_ by the gods, was preparing almost professionally sushi, aligning everything impeccably as this whole moment resembled some kind of 3D cartoon, with the only detail that this was completely real.

And for some reason, a sardonic part of his brain was pointing that he'll get used to this scenario _very soon._

"Mm! I've always liked seeing Sasuke-kun cooking in his cat form! It's just so hilariously cute!" The pink-haired woman beamed at murderous aura that emanated from her friend.

Ignoring her taunts, Sasuke returned to his humanoid form as Sakura asked:

"So, where's the dishes?"

"Huh?" Naruto blinked, his brain slowly restarting after all that display of outlandish moment.

"The dishes? And we need hashis too."

"Oh, the dishes are on the top of the sink the hashis under it." After hearing his response, Sakura beamed.

"Ok. What about shoyu, wasabi and all?"

"I'll…pick it up for you." Naruto followed her mindlessly, obeying every move and order.

It was only when they already prepared the whole table when it clicked. Never in his life he had let anyone casually roam inside his kitchen and there he was two (nosy) strangers that invaded his days in such easy matter. This whole idea was creepy.

Creepier was the fact that he couldn't feel anything odd about this disruption.

The sushis looked incredibly tasty, and even though Naruto wasn't exactly a fan of it and Chouji already cooked yesterday, he wasn't minding for a retake. Hashis dived on the first morsel of rice when he felt eyes observing him.

Sakura blinked owlishly, caught in act, though this fact didn't deter her. She just kept beaming indefinitely, ushering the poor blond to continue his previous activity.

Slowly, and in insecure movements, Naruto savored the delicious food melting in his mouth, moaning appreciatively. He looked sideways, hoping that the unexpected visitor would return to the task at hand. Much to his dismay, emerald eyes maintained the steady gaze, unfaltering, and he suddenly felt like a lab-rat being observed inside a cage.

He cleared up his throat, in an attempt to change the subject:

"So…I guess that if you know about the Bastard's real nature, it means that you're at least involved with the youkai's society right?"

Sakura finally picked up some sushi (Naruto breathed out a relieved sigh) and answered. "Yeah, why you ask?"

"That means that you're also a youkai? What kind of animal you'd be?" The blond asked slightly curiously.

Before the pink-haired woman could declare proudly and haughtily her true nature, Sasuke smirked. "She's a cow."

"Buffalo please!" Sakura interjected annoyed.

Sasuke shook his head unimpressed. "Same thing."

Naruto's mind obviously went to a detour about how those words could possibly describe. _"Oh my god, a __**pink **__c –"_

"I know where exactly you're thinking about it right now!" Sakura lightly wacked the upside of the golden hair and groaned. "That's not my natural hair, I've dyed it! Plus, some youkais have the abilities to change their appearances, either slightly or completely different."

"…oh." Naruto muttered. But still, the mental images…

"Either way, I'm happy for meeting you!" Sakura sighed dreamily. "This is so touching, I'd never believe that my little Sasuke-kun would finally step out of his asexuality cocoon and goes after you!"

Naruto gulped dryly quickly picking up the miso-soup to damp it up.

Not aware to his growing discomfort, Sakura continued. "So, how far did you both had gone already?"

And he immediately spit the liquid out. "Wh-wh-wh—" Naruto stared incredulously at the inquisitive gaze coupled with another smug one and blown in response. "I'm not gay, I'm STRAIGHT!!!!"

"Wha, really? Sasuke-kun, you didn't tell me about that." Sakura pointed out to her friend, but the brunet just shrugged in an implied message of; 'Does that make a difference to me?' She also flippantly ignored the statement. "Well, that doesn't really matter after all, right?"

"How the—of course it does!" Naruto protested. "I'm a guy, I like girls! Not men! I like pretty women!"

"But Sasuke-kun is also pretty!!!!" Sakura immediately interjected. "Just look at him! This lean body!" She roughly patted her friend's shoulder, while Sasuke mildly glared at her in response. "Look at the muscles, the perfect abs!" She pulled up Sasuke's shirt and Naruto grimaced.

"Aaaargh, ewwwwwww, I'm going blind! Whatever the fuck, just remove this out of my sight!" He frantically waved one hand to dispel the traumatizing imagery while another cupped closely to his eyes.

"But look at him! Sasuke-kun is prettier than any woman I've ever saw!!!!" She raised Sasuke's both arms and used one to touch Naruto's skin. "His skin is so soft! Feel the smooth texture! And his sculpted body! It's the perfect symbol of elegancy and sophistication! You can't miss such good opportunity!" She swapped away the offending arm and made Sasuke touch Naruto's thigh.

Goosebumps instantly flourished through Naruto's body and he cowered away. "Could you stop doing that?!" He squeaked.

However, the showcasing wasn't over yet. "But you should pay attention to the complexion of his skin! It's pale, the color that every oriental women strive to have! He have the perfect contrast between light and dark, look at his dark grey eyes and his jet black hair! Yeah!" Sakura frantically ran her hands over Sasuke's hair. "Feel his hair! It's so soft and smooth; I bet no women you have ever met have such silky feeling when you touch the hair right?! Right?!"

Sakura was already practically towering a flabbergasted Naruto as she loomed menacingly towards him. "And above all, Sasuke-kun has such breathtaking face! Look at his delicate oval shape! His lips, it's neither too full nor too thin! His nose, it's not gigantic and spread ugly on the sides, his eyes, it's so coolly expressive that couple with his perfect eyebrows, that doesn't have one inch more of unnecessary facial hair! C'mon, I can't believe that you're that blind to refuse to see such beauty! Sasuke-kun _is _beautiful, you don't see such long eyelashes anywhere, am I right, am I right?!?!?!?!?!" Her face was positioned few inches of difference from his and she growled in a frightening way. "Well?!?!?! Sasuke-kun is pretty, isn't he?!?!"

"Alright, alright, he is, he is!!! His face is symmetrical, his face isn't squared shaped, his eyes is aligned well with the position of his nostrils, his body structure follows the needed measures and his eyelashes are long enough to emphasize the expression! He's pretty, now get offa my back!"

A very uncomfortable silence between the trio while Naruto was trying to catch his breath, Sakura raised both of her eyebrows in stunned surprise and Sasuke lifted one eyebrow while he quirked one side of his mouth haughtily.

"I-I-I mean—!!!" The blond tried to remedy his slip up. "What?!I'm saying this 'cuz I'm a photographer in a model agency! I have to analyze the physique and evaluate if it's adequate to the abiding rules! It's in my job! It's already a conditioned habit! It can't be helped!"

"Hm." Sakura grinned wide.

"Hn." Sasuke smirked.

Naruto blew up. "BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I'M GAY!"

"I want to be the wedding planner." Sakura patted cheerfully Naruto's shoulders.

"But I'm not gay!" Naruto protested.

"This is going to be a problem though. Who'd dress up as the bride then?" She gingerly placed a finger on her chin, pensively.

"I'm not agreeing with this!" Naruto slammed his fist on the table.

"Hn." Sasuke just shrugged.

"Hey!!! Aren't you listening to me?! I'm not gay!" The blond frantically ran his hair in dismay.

"Photographer? That's pretty cool! Sasuke could be your main model, this is so poetic!" She sat again on the floor and peered over her green eyes to Naruto's. "I wonder, am I qualified to be a model too?"

Naruto had already his mouth opened ready to protest when the sudden change of subject startled him. "Well…" He glanced briefly before responding professionally. "Although you don't have the qualified stature for this, your body shape does fit with the ideal requisites of a Japanese woman, so I guess you'd go fine for feminine magazines and in clothing commercial. You're athletic type, but not too bulky."

"Oh really?" Sakura beamed, satisfied from hearing such complements.

"Yeah, your hair though it's dyed, it isn't opaque and still could attain vividness and it's long enough to use various hair styles. The color of your eyes is rare in Japan and it's also brilliant, not to mention that the complexion of your skin is rosy, not too tanned."

"Hm…interesting." She answered while Sasuke, on the other side, softly scowled.

"Well, the only problem it'd be your forehead I guess. It's too wide and disproportional in comparison toBBLBLRBBBLER!!!!" And Naruto couldn't continue his analysis because Sakura violently dug his head to the ground.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry!" The pink-haired woman apologized while she released the blond from her clutches. "It was reflex, I'm sorry, so sorry!"

Naruto tried to survey the status of his almost broken nose. "Errr…" It's official now, all youkais are veritable insane.

Sasuke snorted though. "Obviously, that's something unavoidable when you need a wide forehead to bump into your enemies, I guess."

Sakura immediately threw a chopstick on Sasuke's eye, though the latter ducked swiftly, the offending weapon digging deeply on the wall. "Weeeellll, you little piece of furball shit, it's better than being a huge territorial idiot that it's anti-social to the very last bits!" She spat venomously.

"Hn. Someone runs in denial when they can't admit that their whole life is resumed on striking dumbly your enemies when they don't have the finesse to plan strategies unlike us, felines." Sasuke sniffed imperiously.

"Tch. Better than having your life resumed on having your tongue full of fur all the time while you keep your weird tongue baths everyday!"

"Am I missing something?" Naruto wondered out loud as he observed the scowling faces of both youkais.

Sakura was the first to explain. "Sorry. It's an inside joke."

Sasuke snorted once again. "Bitch."

Sakura elbow-jabbed her friend. "Faggot."

"Ruminator."

"Moody jerk."

"Fatso."

"Anorexic."

"Fly attractor."

"Flea attractor."

"Big tits."

"Crotch licker."

"Co—"

"Aaaalright, even though I'm enjoying this bizarre contest of bad-mouthing animals, can we move on or do I have to give you both more space to discuss? 'Cuz, y' know, I need to refill my green tea." Naruto pointed out at his empty cup.

"Hm?" Sakura blinked twice before returning to her teasing grin. "Oh no, oh no, I'm just here after all to check all the things here, see if everything is alright."

"As in…?" Naruto furrowed his eyebrows in suspicion.

"Well…to tell the truth, I'm here to evaluate every month the interaction between the youkai and his current human contact, to see if everything is going smoothly and it won't have any disruption in both societies, human and youkais." Sakura explained patiently.

"Ah…really?" Naruto frowned, displeased. Not only he'd have to deal everyday with that perverted youkai but he'd also be dissected from up to down every frigging month, this is all so tiresome…

"Yep. After all, it's still two totally different cultures and thoughts. It takes time for a human to get used with our flaws and abilities, we have to make sure that everything is running smoothly. We need to confirm that the building relationship won't strain in both sides and you'll have a good correlation."

"Hm…" Naruto added thoughtfully, drinking his green tea.

"So why don't you just mount him already and be done with it?"

Naruto almost chocked. "Cof, cof, cof—WHAT THE HELL?!"

"Oh, c'mon…you already admitted that Sasuke-kun is handsome right?" Sakura blinked in slight apprehension.

"But I've (cof) said (cof) that I'm (cof cof) not gay!"

She waved her hand in dismissal. "Small details. You shouldn't get worried with those technicalities. Love is love and it doesn't divide between genders."

"Who the hell said that I'd love this Bastard?!"

"Though then, you should at least recognize the positive points on engaging a relationship with someone of your same sex. It means that he knows your body better than any women you've met!" Sakura clarified cheerfully.

"Whaaaaat?!?!?!"

"Think about the hand jobs! He knows which parts the male figure is more sensitive and which are not!" Naruto began to pale but Sakura was relentless. "The oral sex too! He'll know the exact amount to suck and which parts he should nip or lick, unlike when women have to experiment around!"

Naruto was paling even further.

"Homosexual men know better other erogenous areas to explore unlike women who most of the time relies on the last deed. So their foreplay usually last longer than heterosexual ones, sometimes only the foreplay is enough to satiate them!"

Naruto was starting to gag.

"And if you're open-minded enough, in the end you're putting in the same kind of hole, as the only crucial difference is that it's tig—"

"TOOMUCHINFORMATION!" He shouted loudly.

"…what? I'm only giving you crucial information to you, that's all. Perhaps I didn't explain well?" She cocked her pink head to one side but suddenly brightened. "I know! Next time I'll bring pictures alongside with texts explaining in detail on how to have ana—"

Sasuke felt that it was his cue to step inside. "Sakura, isn't it time for you to give the report to Aniki?"

"Oh really?" She looked outside and widened her eyes. "It's 10:00 pm already! I should go." She swept her jeans languidly, unbeknownst to Naruto's sigh of relief and added. "Well, the pictures I'll bring later. See you later, and listen to my advice as soon as possible!" She approached towards his balcony and prepped to jump.

"Wait a min, this is the 10th floor—" Naruto dropped his jaw when he saw her disappearing in front of his eyes.

Sasuke instead, turned back with his form of cat and yawned wide. "Hn." Time to sleep.

"I'm frikkin' sure that I'll get insane _soon_." The poor human muttered out loud.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

AN: Sakura, since she's Sasuke and Itachi's childhood friend in this story, she calls Itachi by Tachi-nii more for closeness purposes. Sakura is the type that would respect honorifics, but if she's feeling at ease with someone, she'll drop it in the long run. And NO, there won't have any ItaSaku.


End file.
